


Tossed to the Curb

by Efstitt



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Adoption, Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Angst, Bad language cuz that’s how I am, Child Abuse, Dads get tangled up, Foster Care, Foster Parents, Gen, Gray areas for Pulitzer, Have a plan but we’ll see if we follow it, High School, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, I’m not a criminal as you will be able to tell, I’m pretending I know how to commit a crime, Jack has a dad, Mayer and Esther are the best, Reunification, Romeo is a cutie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 40,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24216457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Efstitt/pseuds/Efstitt
Summary: Jack has been in foster care since his dad went to prison. We pick up the story as Jack’s dad is released and wants him back.
Comments: 215
Kudos: 53





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Y’all, I need comments to fuel me. Please, please comment, good or bad!

“You know you don’t have to. That’s totally fine. But you’re always welcome, Jack,” said Mayer. “I’d like sitting with you there.” He stood by the couch, putting on his jacket.

Jack looked up from his notebook and smiled. “I know. Thanks. But I’m good. I just like being here.”

Mayer smiled back at him. “I understand. We’ll be back in a little bit, then.”

Jack nodded and waved a little. “Okay.” He loved it when Mayer asked him to go to temple with him and Esther, even though he knew he’d never go. It sounded nice, going there, and Mayer had promised him he’d show him what to do and tell him what was going on, and had promised no one would dream of laughing at him, but staying at their house was what Jack loved above all. He had it all set up the way he liked it, on the couch under the blanket, his notebook and books spread out around him. He looked like them that way, he hoped. Did they notice? Did it make it look like maybe he could be their son? It made him feel smart, even though he was a crap student. Jack knew he wasn't going to make the honor roll anytime soon, but Mayer and Esther had been so pleased that he hadn't flunked anything last quarter he wanted to not-flunk again this quarter. Maybe Esther would want to order out for dinner to celebrate, like she did last time. 

Jack listened for the door to the garage to shut and watched as the car pulled out of the driveway. Lord, he loved it here. He didn’t know what miracle had come about for the last five months, but he wasn’t about to ask questions. To think some people lived like this all the time.

He thought about the Oreos in the cupboard. They’d made it clear he could help himself to anything in the kitchen so long as he told them when he finished the last of anything. He still hadn’t tested that one out, even when he heard Mayer sigh when he opened the Oreo package and saw only one or two left. Jack flipped the blanket back and went into the kitchen. Four peanut butter and jelly sandwiches later, he pulled the Oreos out, thankful there were still a lot in there. He took five and poured himself some milk, leaning against the counter and dipping each one in until his fingers touched the milk. He laughed at himself as he rinsed the glass. Didn’t take you long to figure out how to live here, did it, Kelly, whole wheat bread and all. He carefully cleaned up the counter and had another glass of milk. They never said anything about his snacks, which was pretty fucking amazing given his habit of eating all the time. He grinned and helped himself to some potato chips. Finally done, he padded back to the couch and drew the blanket back up over himself with every intention of starting Fahrenheit 451. 

Jack woke up, the morning light streaming in the window onto the couch. Someone had taken his books and notebooks and stacked them neatly on the floor. Jack could not figure out how Mayer and Esther were so quiet. Their whole house was quiet. They laughed quietly, they spoke quietly, they touched him quietly. Their neighborhood was quiet. Hard to believe this was part of the same town he’d grown up in. He’d never seen anything like it. It had taken him days to fall asleep when he’d first come. Jack stretched, his one leg cramping as he flexed his legs. 

“He’s alive,” he heard Esther say from over the couch. “What slumbering beast is this in the living room?”

Jack shook his head. Who used words like that, he wondered happily. But this was what they really sounded like. They didn’t sound like his dad, or his last homes. Words they used would sound really strange coming from Esther, that was for sure.

“Sorry, Esther. I know you don’t want me sleeping on the couch. It’s just so... comfy.” It ain’t fucking comfy, Kelly. It’s just comfy. 

“It’s fine. I mostly want you in bed getting a good night’s rest on school nights,” she said. Jack tried not to laugh. He’d heard this a thousand times and it still sounded stupid.

“Okay,” he said. He peered over the couch into the kitchen where she was pouring some cereal. He’d wait until she was done. They made such a big deal about eating together, all at the same time, sitting down, at least for dinner. He still felt watched, even though they meant for it to be "together time." Not to mention it was fucking embarrassing, all napkins and knives and talking. But whatever. They hadn't laid a hand on him, ever, so he could put in half an hour of feeling stupid each day. Fair trade in the end, really.

"Morning, Jack," said Mayer, wandering through the living room, his hair still sticking up. "How's the book?"

Fuck. He hadn't even started it. "Not bad. I'll read some more today." 

"Okay. Let me know if you have any questions about it.” Mayer said, putting his hand on Esther's hip and leaning in for a kiss. What book hadn’t Mayer read, Jack wondered. He knew Mayer was a teacher or something at the college, but he didn’t really know much beyond that. He talked a lot about deans and grades and stuff. Adjuncts. "Morning, dear." He turned back to Jack. "Jack, um, once you're up and you've had some breakfast, there's something we have to talk about, all right?"

Fuck fuck fuck. Alarms rang and suddenly the couch was hot and sweaty and not comfy at all. "It's about my dad, ain't it?" Isn't it. Jack swung his legs down to the floor and rested his elbows on his knees. He rubbed his eyes with his wrist. Fuck.

"Yes. Come have some breakfast first."

"No, thanks. Can you just tell me now?"

There was a brief silence before he heard them come into the living room. The couch sagged a little as Esther sat next to him, and he heard Mayer sit on the little couch near him. Esther's hand began rubbing his back. "You know we love having you here, right, Jack?" she asked quietly. Always quietly. He nodded, not looking up. "We will always care about you." Fuck.

"Just tell me, please," said Jack, his voice brittle.

Mayer sighed. "You know he's met all of the requirements, right? He has a job, he's got his own place, and now," Mayer's voice got tight, "he wants you back."


	2. Chapter 2

“But, I thought, like, if I didn't want to see him, then, like..." Jack faltered. Didn't it matter that he never visited his dad in prison? Or when he got out? Shit, any one of these shitholes he'd been in lately would be better than going back.

"Well, you have to see him now," said Esther gently. "They said he deserves a chance. It will be supervised, if that helps." Jack slumped against the back of the couch. Don't cry, Kelly. For fuck's sake.

Mayer glanced over at Jack as they pulled up to the county office. “Want me to go in with you? I can, if you want,” he offered.

Jack shook his head and grabbed the door handle. “I got it,” he mumbled. He jerked the door open and slammed it shut, shoving his hands deep into his pockets as he approached the door. Mayer watched him go in, reached for his book, and waited.

When Jack emerged an hour later, Mayer swiftly put the book down and tried to read him. The stone face didn’t make it easy. Jack jerked open the door much as he had earlier and slouched in his seat.

“Jack?” Mayer asked. “You want to tell me about it?” Jack shook his head once and stared out the window. “Esther texted me to say she got some pizza from Luisa’s.” Jack shrugged.

Mayer put the car in reverse and backed out into the parking lot. Jack didn’t say a word all the way home. Mayer pulled into the garage and looked over at Jack again. “I’m sorry if it didn’t go well,” he said.

“Why did you make me go?” Jack asked, his voice edgy. “If you don’t like me no more, just send me to another home. Why did you make me talk to him?”

Mayer inhaled. “We had to do it, Jack. We like you fine. Let’s go inside and talk about this with Esther, okay? We’ll go through everything.”

“I hate you. I hate you, Mayer. If you hate me so much just say so, okay? Just fucking kick me out. And fuck you.” Jack yanked the door open and stormed inside. Mayer flew in after him, only to hear the sound of a bedroom door slamming.

He met Esther’s eyes as she turned to him, her eyebrows raised high. “He hates me and the world,” said Mayer softly.

“Ah,” said Esther. “It went that well, did it. Well, you must be a good dad for him to tell you he hates you so much.” Mayer didn’t smile. Esther looked at her phone, puzzled. “Jessica called while you were on your way home to say she thought the visit went really well. She said Dan behaved, showed interest in Jack and how he was doing, and didn’t do anything inappropriate.”

“Um,” was all Mayer could think of to say. “I don’t think Jack sees it that way.”

“Let me talk to him,” said Esther, piling a plate high with pineapple pizza. Mayer shrugged and nodded, reaching for the wine.

Esther knocked on the door. “Can I come in, Jack?” She heard a muffled grunt and took that as a yes. She slowly opened the door and saw about what she expected, a pile of teenager lumped on his bed, facing away from her. The desk was covered with wrinkled T-shirts and marked up notebooks, so she put the plate on the floor by the bed as she sat on the edge.

“Tell me,” she said. Jack was silent. She waited. “Sounds like you had some feelings about this afternoon.”

“I’m sorry,” he finally said. “I didn’t mean those things I said to Mayer.” He rolled over, biting the inside of his lip hard. “I’ll go make it up to him.”

Esther stopped him, putting her hand on his thigh. “Jack, Mayer is fine. He can wait a minute. Can you please tell me what about the visit made you so upset?”

Jack spied the plate of pizza and grabbed two pieces at once, smushing them together like a sandwich. “You always get the best food, you know that?” He smiled a shaky smile. “You guys are the best, have I ever told you?” He shoved the food in his mouth and stood up. “I’ll get the garbage out to the curb for Mayer for a start, okay? Anything else I should do?” He grinned at her.

“Jack...” said Esther helplessly, watching Jack sprint out of the bedroom.

“Jack, it’s okay. I just want you to know that if you want to talk about it, you can,” said Mayer patiently.

“Yes, sir, I understand,” said Jack. “Can I take the garbage out now?” Mayer nodded. Sir, hm. That kind of talk had faded away weeks ago.

Mayer watched as Jack took the garbage to the curb. And cleaned the kitchen counters. And swept the kitchen floor. And emptied and refilled the dishwasher. And said he had to get to his homework. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Kelly,” asked Race, sliding his tray to the table and sitting across from Jack. “You don’t look so good.”

Jack grunted. “Been up all night studying, asshole.” He shoveled a forkful of brownish peas into his mouth before realizing what he had done. He grimaced, and swallowed.

Race erupted with laughter. “Who the fuck are you and what’ve you done with Jack? What’ve you really been doing? Let me have some, if it’s what I think it is. Did your old man slip you something good at your visit?”

“Fuck you,” said Jack. “I been studying. Not that you know anything about that either, you stupid fuck.” He scrolled through the news headlines.

“Come on,” said Race, swatting at Jack’s phone. “You can’t be serious. You visiting the U.N. or something? Interviewing the king of China?”

Jack shoved Race’s hand away. “Gotta find something to talk about with them at dinner. Show them I ain’t as ignorant as you.”

Race rolled his eyes. “They know where you come from, Jacky. You been there five months. They know you ain’t a genius.”

“Shaddup. A guy can learn, can’t he.” Jack read through the article about nuclear containment, trying to memorize as much as he could. They’d be impressed by that tonight for sure.

His best surprise was on Friday.

“Can I show you something, please,” he asked quietly. Quiet, Kelly.

“Of course,” replied Mayer, putting his fork and knife down. “What’ve we got?”

Jack unfolded a piece of paper from his pocket and passed it to Esther. Maybe a B wouldn't be good enough. He looked at her nervously, smiling only when she did.

“A B?” she asked, giving Jack a huge smile. “Jack, you got B on this math quiz?”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. He watched carefully as she passed it to Mayer. Jack tensed his legs and bounced his knee.

“My goodness,” he said. “This is fantastic, Jack. Good for you!” He passed it back to Jack. “You’ve been studying an awful lot lately.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jack. He took a breath. This was it. This was all he could think of. “Can I ask a question, please?” he asked, now that he had them pleased with him. Mayer and Esther paused and looked at him, heads slightly tilted.

“Jack, yes,” said Esther, slightly exasperated.

“Would it be all right, um, would it be okay if I came to temple with you tonight?” Jack watched Mayer’s plate. “I been reading up. I’d do everything you say. I wouldn’t embarrass you,” he finished.

Mayer glanced at Esther. “Of course you can come, Jack. I’d like that very much. But you don’t have to,” he said. “I don’t want you to come out of any sense of obligation.”

“Let me clear the table and then I’ll get changed,” said Jack, reaching for their plates.

Esther blocked Jack’s hand. “Enough, Jack.” He stared at her. “Enough. What is this all about?”

Jack froze. She was angry. Fuck. “Just trying to help,” he said, his voice cracking a little. He smiled. “You didn’t take in a teenager just to clean up after him, did you?”

“I want to know what is going on," said Esther. "'Perfect Teenager' is wearing me out this week. I want 'Normal Teenager' back, please."

Jack kept his smile on. "I got a B. I still got a ways to go."

“Jack,” said Mayer, “give Esther an honest answer, please. What is this about?”

Shit. Now Mayer was angry. Jack slipped his hand out from under Esther’s. His hands shook as he gathered their plates, but he didn’t take them to the kitchen.

“You’re mad at me,” he said, his eyes fixed on the table, his hands on the stacked plates. “You should be. I screwed up bad,” he said quietly, lifting his eyes briefly to check on Mayer. “I’ll do anything you want.”

“You didn’t screw up, Jack,” said Mayer. “Are you still thinking about the visit? You were angry one time, and understandably so. You’re fine. You’ve been fine.”

Jack shook his head. “I’m an asshole. Sorry. And I thought maybe...” He stopped and pressed his lips together. He picked up the plates and took them into the kitchen, starting to scrape them before putting them in the dishwasher.

“You thought what, Jack,” he heard Esther say. She leaned in the doorway. His throat closed up. He’d have to hurry now to get changed. “Jack, please tell me.” Jack looked for Mayer. Mayer was still sitting at the table, calm, but attentive.

“I thought, maybe, if I could be better, I wouldn’t have to see him again. Maybe...” he still couldn’t finish. 

Esther waited.

“Maybe you’d keep me,” said Jack, not daring to look at her, dropping the silverware in as he spoke. “Maybe I could be good enough for you. I mean, I know I’m not. But I can learn. I can do better. Every week I’ll do better. I'll get a A next time,” he said, finishing putting the dishes in the dishwasher. He straightened and looked at Esther’s shoulder. “Maybe if you told Jessica I was doing really good, and you wanted me to stay longer, then I wouldn’t have to do another visit. With him.” He stuck his hands in his back pockets, his arms stiff. He checked on Mayer again. Mayer was standing and moving into the kitchen. Jack backed up.

“It’s a dumb idea, I know,” said Jack, his eyes fixed on Mayer. “Just forget it. I’ll tell Jessica I wanna move back in with my dad.” What the fuck had he been thinking this week. Race was right. Jack wasn’t fooling anybody. Mayer had been waiting all week for this, hadn’t he, and now Jack had made him even madder by being rude to Esther. Lord, he’d been stupid, thinking he could get Mayer to forget what Jack had said to him after the visit. Mayer entered the kitchen and stood by Esther. Jack backed up more, until he backed into the door to the garage. Jack could probably get past him and get out the front door if he caught Mayer by surprise. He watched Mayer’s hands and started to sweat. 

Esther put out her arm and stopped Mayer. “Go get changed,” she said to him. 

Jack unclenched his hands in his pockets as he saw Mayer leave the kitchen. He shuddered in a breath. “I'm sorry I was rude. I can do better,” he said to Esther. “I can, I swear.”

Esther came closer, her arms open. “Oh, Jack,” she said sadly. “My sweet boy.” Jack let her put her arms around him. “My sweet, sweet boy.” Jack set his jaw. He was fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

“Thinks he’s some kind of fucking genius, taking me to McDonalds all by himself like a big boy,” said Jack. He poked at his greenish carrots. “He’s all ‘I done parenting classes’ and ‘I won’t let you down, Jack.’ Fucking asshole.”

“Hm,” said Race. “At least we’ll be neighbors.”

“Yeah, great,” said Jack. He speared his carrots and ate them. Mushy crap holy fuck. 

“Hey, I bet your dad’s trailer is better’n the apartment you guys had before. There’s the park by the road where we can hang out,” added Race. Jack had seen the kids playing football or whatever in the “park,” or whatever they called the patchy grassy area around the Green Meadows sign. You could play football there as long as you leaped over or around the sign, and didn’t fall in the road trying to catch the ball.

Jack was about to give him a smart answer when someone slapped down a tray next to them. “This the reject table?” a brown-eyed girl asked. Jack and Race stared up at her, their mouths hanging open. “Helloooo?” she asked, clearly wondering if they were awake. Jack was pretty sure she’d used all the black makeup from the drugstore to point out where her eyes were. The same drugstore that sold only black lipstick, evidently.

“Sure,” said Jack. “We reject you. Get lost.”

“There’s no place else to sit,” she said, lifting her black leather combat boots over the bench to sit next to Race. “The jocks don’t want anybody but cheerleaders, the cool girls don’t want anyone new to disrupt their hierarchy, and the theater geeks are all eating in the choir room, so here I am.”

“Who are you?” asked Race, trying to sound incisive and alert.

“Katherine Pulitzer. You can call me Kath or Thak, either way. And yes, my hair is naturally purple. My dad is the new arts and sciences dean at the college. An academic nomad, him. His loyal and faithful servant daughter, following him wherever he may go, me.” She picked up her grapes, careful not to let them drip down into her fingerless leather gloves. “What are your loser stories?”

Jack looked at Race. “You first, loser.”

“I’m a minor loser compared to Jack here,” said Race. “I’m just a fuckup. This is the poor table, by the way, not the reject table. But me and Jacky are the smart ones, so we sit over here.”

“Uh huh,” said Kath. She turned to Jack. “So how big a loser are you, Jacky?”

Jack grinned. “Follow me wherever I may go, and you’ll find out.”

“That bad, huh,” she said. “Fuck. Listen, guys, I need friends and you’re them. I gotta go get my schedule straightened out. See you tomorrow.” She picked up her lunch and tossed it in the trash, swinging her arms as she headed toward the door. Jack accidentally ate more carrots as they stared after her.

“It’s just a few more days,” said Esther, tossing her clothes into the laundry basket. “I understand he’s scared, but Dan has shown nothing but improvement. We’re here to help them reunify, aren’t we?”

Mayer sat back against his reading pillow. “And broken plates are Jack’s expression of delight at reunification? Not speaking to me is a good sign? The return of failing grades are what we’re after?”

Esther pulled on her pajama pants and her favorite soft T-shirt. “Not liking his father is not enough of a reason to keep them apart. And it’s called soiling the nest, dearie. He wants you to want him gone, and deep down he knows you won’t hurt him. Read a book sometime,” she said, smiling.

“A couple of parenting books and some people think they know everything,” Mayer grumbled. “It just breaks my heart, is all.”

Esther climbed into bed and put her head on Mayer’s shoulder. “Mine too.”

Jack folded the clothes Mayer and Esther had given him and put them neatly into his dresser. Maybe they’d fit the next kid. He tossed his old clothes into his duffel bag. Stupid fuck Mayer, making him talk to his dad. Mayer was so stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. He hated Mayer. All “I love my students” but not the kid living in his fucking house. Hard to believe he wanted to be like Mayer not too long ago. What difference did it make if a foster dad hit him or made him go back to his real dad. But Mayer had hugged him, and said he was proud of him, even when he had first come... Jack thought guiltily about his smashed plate from the other night. Not that he had anything to lose. He’d never be like them. He could surround himself with a whole fucking library and he’d never be like them. He checked the clock. They’d be up soon. He crept swiftly down the hall with his bag into the kitchen. He grabbed a loaf of bread from the freezer and a jar of peanut butter from the cupboard and pushed them under the jeans in his bag. Knife, fork, spoon. Some canned fruit and soup fit into the ends of his bag. He hefted it up to make sure the cans didn’t show when he carried it. Good. He set the bag by the door just as Mayer came into the kitchen.

“How about some pancakes? We’ve got a little time,” said Mayer, a touch too cheerily. Jack shrugged and walked past him back toward his bedroom.

Esther met him in the hall. “Good morning,” she said. “Did Mayer start the pancakes?” Jack nodded and blinked, taking in a big breath before going back into his bedroom. He turned and peeked back out into the hall. She was gone. Jack silently slipped out of his bedroom and into theirs. The top drawer of Mayer’s dresser was their not-so-secret hiding place for cash. Some of Esther’s violin students paid only with cash, so this served as their private atm. Jack grabbed eighty dollars and folded the bills carefully so they wouldn’t show in his front pocket.

He grabbed his backpack and headed back toward the kitchen, passing the bathroom. He had room in his backpack, come to think of it. He glanced down the hall to make sure they were both still in the kitchen, and darted into the bathroom. Bandaids, gauze, tape, anti-whatever ointment that Esther had insisted on using his first day here, two washcloths. That should be good. He poked his head out of the bathroom. Still no sign of them.

He slung his backpack onto the floor by his duffel bag in the kitchen. The pancakes smelled really good, actually.

“Help yourself, Jack,” said Mayer, pointing at the plate of pancakes as he poured more batter into the pan. “I made a double batch.” Jack took the entire plate to the table and dug in. Esther busied herself with the laundry, not one to leave it for the evening, ever. Jack ate, silently, until Mayer ran out of batter. Jack wandered back into the kitchen and helped himself to two bowls of cereal and an apple, careful not to talk to Mayer. 

Jack leaned against the counter, finishing the apple, watching Mayer do all the cleanup in the kitchen.

Mayer wiped down the counter and closed up the dishwasher. He turned to Jack and smiled. “I’m glad you liked the pancakes, Jack. I’ll miss making you breakfast on Sundays, you know.” Jack examined his apple for bits he had missed. “Jack, please look at me.”

Jack lowered the apple and stared hard at Mayer. 

“I’m going to miss you, you know. Your dad, he’s trying, right? Will you give him a chance?” Mayer asked hopefully.

“Yeah, sure,” said Jack. “For the record, fuck you, Mayer.”

Jack tossed his apple core into the trash and went over to Esther, who was busily looking out the window for Jessica. He wrapped his arms around her arms from behind. “Thank you for being my mama,” he said quietly into her ear. Maybe she’d call him her sweet boy again.

Esther put her hands up on Jack’s and squeezed them. “Your phone, Jack. We’re going to keep paying for it. Just in case,” she said. “Jessica doesn’t need to know that, all right?”

Jack rested his chin on her shoulder. “Okay. Can I hug you?” Esther turned around and hugged Jack as he gave her a bear hug, lifting her up a couple of inches.

“You’re my sweet boy,” she said, leaning back and putting her hands on his cheeks. Jack held very still, trying to memorize how he was standing, how she was holding him, but not how his lip gave way just a little.

A car horn sounded, and Jack looked out the window to see Jessica come up the walk. “Gotta get my stuff,” he muttered.

Esther opened the door for Jessica as Jack grabbed his duffel bag and backpack. “Ready, Jack?” Jessica asked lightly.

Jack turned to Esther and Mayer. “Bye,” he said. He didn’t wait for their reply as he headed out the door.


	4. Day 1

Jack watched through the open doorway as Jessica drove off down the paved-twenty-years-ago-and-now-mostly-dirt road that cut through the trailer park. He rolled his shoulder and faced his dad. “So where do I sleep?” he asked.

Dan cleared his throat. “Just around the corner here.” He led Jack to the little hall where a door led into Jack’s bedroom. He stood in the room as Jack came in with his bag and backpack. A mattress and boxspring lay on the floor in the corner with a sheet folded at the foot and a pillow at the head. A little cart on wheels sat in the other corner. Dan pulled a cord that lifted one side of the blinds on the window, the view cut in half by a long patch of duct tape. “I fixed the window for you.” 

Jack nodded and tossed his stuff on the floor by the bed. “Okay.” Race was right. It was better than their apartment when Jack was put in the system.

“I thought I’d make up some hot dogs for dinner,” said Dan. “You still like hot dogs?”

“Yeah,” said Jack.

“Good,” said Dan. “I got a good job at the college, but they still don’t pay janitors shit, you know.”

Jack nodded. 

“Okay, so I’ll make us some hot dogs later on, then.” 

“Okay,” said Jack. He should text Race. What the fuck else was he going to do here, he wondered.

Dan stopped in the doorway before leaving Jack’s room. “I worked my ass off to get you back, Jack. A little gratitude might be good for you.”

Jack’s head snapped up. Dan’s muscled arm was braced in the doorway as he leaned against the other side of it. Jack lifted his chin a little more. “Sure. Thanks for taking me outta the only home where people didn't beat the crap outta me. So yeah, thanks. I sure owe you one.”

Dan straightened, pushing himself off of the doorway and drawing himself up to his full height. Jack squared up with him, a good four inches shorter, keeping his distance, watching carefully. Dan took a few big breaths and walked away.

“You learn that in parenting classes, Dan?” Jack shouted. “Ain’t you gonna hit me? Bet you missed that, huh! Here’s your big chance to make up for lost time! I’m right here, Dan!”

Jack smirked as Dan came striding back to the doorway, his jaw clenched. “You call me Dad.”

“I knew it,” said Jack. “Go ahead, Dan! Lay me out like you used to. Right here,” he said, pointing at his chin. “Gimme your best shot!”

Dan made a fist but kept it by his side. He drew in a breath and walked back into the living room. Jack heard the door slam. Fine, he thought. He pulled out his phone and texted Race.

Race leaned against the side of his trailer and watched Jack come closer. “Home sweet home, huh,” he said.

“Fuck him. Show me something fun,” said Jack, kicking at the pebbles.

Race looked away, clearly considering his options. “There’s about six trailers you can hear the sex real good from just about every night. We could walk to the gas station. Um... Mrs. Myers will usually give you a cookie or a Little Debbie or something.” Jack didn’t look all that impressed. “We could go see who’s at the park.”

“Let’s get a Little Debbie and go to the park,” said Jack. Mayer and Esther hadn’t exactly been Little Debbie fans.

“Okay. But we can’t be on the same team, since we’re both big,” said Race.

Ten minutes later, Jack mashed the rest of his snack into this mouth as he waved an elementary kid down the yard for a pass. “Romeo!” he shouted. Romeo put his arm up and Jack let the ball fly. Romeo caught it by the tips of his fingers and raced to the end of the grass, shouting about his touchdown. Race moaned and called his team together. Jack soon discovered Race’s big plan was “get Jack,” something all the younger kids got on board with fast, reveling in tackling the new big kid.

The streetlight by the road came on eventually, and a few kids drifted away. Race and Jack sat by the culvert, cars flying by a few feet above them. Race passed Jack his cigarette every now and then as they watched the remaining kids play.

“Your dad say you gotta be home?” Race asked.

"He's gonna make some hot dogs, he said. You want one?"

Race shrugged, stubbing out his cigarette. "Sure, why not. I'll tell you who lives where on our way." Jack's mind wandered back to Esther and Mayer as Race told him stories of varying degrees of interest. They'd be sitting down for dinner about now, asking Jack about his homework. Or maybe he'd be done by now and setting up his couch camp for the evening. "Right, Jack?" Jack looked blankly at Race as they approached his door. "Captain Crunch? Better than Froot Loops?"

"Yeah," said Jack, leading Race inside. No sign of his dad, but there was a pot on the stove. Jack peered in and saw a hot dog floating in the cold water. He looked around on the counter for a bun. Maybe in the fridge. There were no buns behind the blue Gatorade and half-empty pack of Cheetos. Why would you keep Cheetos in the fridge, he wondered. Anyway, no bun. Jack took the hot dog out of the water with his fingers, broke it in two, and handed half to Race. "There ya go. I got bread in my room if you want a bun."

Race popped his half in his mouth and shook his head. "Let's get outta here. I got some beer in the woods,” he said.

“Why the fuck didn’t you say so,” said Jack, swallowing fast. “Let’s go.” He waited for Race to lead the way. “I thought the woods belonged to the people in the house down the road,” he said, pointing with his chin.

“They do. What, you think they’re gonna see two kids at the edge of their woods at night? Better than trying to hide stuff under the trailer,” said Race.

Jack learned fast to keep his arm up so he wouldn’t be whacked in the face with tree branches as he followed Race. It also kept his attention busy until he heard footsteps behind him.

“Romeo, beat it,” he half yelled, half whispered. 

“I wanna see what Race has back here,” said Romeo.

Race turned, scowling. “Romeo, damn, go home,” he said. Romeo folded his arms.

Race stepped closer to Romeo. “Quit following us. I’ll get you a big bag of gum.”

“When?”

“Next week.”

“Okay. Don’t forget.” 

Race pointed back toward the trailers. “I won’t. Now get lost.” Romeo grinned and ran back, crashing through the brush. Race shook his head. “Crazy kid,” he said. 

Race found his stash and handed Jack a beer, settling down on a fallen tree. The lights of the trailers were not as far off as Jack had expected. 

“So’s your dad different now?” said Race. “Did he keep his shit together showing you around?” 

Jack nodded, gulping the beer. Fuck, things changed fast. Mayer and Esther would not like these choices. “Yeah, he did, mostly. Thinks I should be fucking grateful.”

“Grateful?! For what?” Race shook his head. “The Jacobs were great, you know, mostly, but shit, Jacky.”

Jack finished off his can. “Right. Boy, he didn’t like it when I called him Dan. So I guess I know what I’m calling him from now on, huh.” 

“I guess. Be careful, Jack. He’s a big guy. You didn’t get that from him, friend.” Race crushed his can under his foot.

Jack crept into the trailer, holding onto the doorknob until he got his balance. He breathed a sigh of relief at the silence. He let go of the knob and staggered through the living area toward his room, stopping when he was blinded by the living room light coming on.

“I made hot dogs, Jack,” said Dan. “Where you been?”

Jack squinted at Dan, holding his hand up over his eyes. His dad sat on the couch by the window, his arms up on the back. “Nowhere. Dan. And I ate the fucking hot dog.”

“Your first night back with me, and you go out and get drunk? Where’d you get it? That Higgins kid? Jesus fuck, Jack.” Dan got up and stood close to Jack. “You got something you wanna say?”

Jack peered up at him. “Nope. Dan.”

“You owe me an apology. I got you dinner like they said I should. I got your room fixed up like they said. I got a job. I’ve been clean.” Dan’s eyes were blazing. 

Jack stepped back, catching himself on the wall. “Throw me out, then. Do it. I don’t care. Dan.”

Dan grabbed Jack by the front of his T-shirt and dragged him into Jack's bedroom, shoving him up against the wall. "You call me Dad, understand?"

Jack's head lolled to the side. He waited for the hit. Dan lifted him away from the wall and slammed him back against it. "Dad. Say it!" Dan yelled. Jack grinned. Dan slammed Jack again.

"Okay, okay," said Jack, his head ringing. "Dan." The punch to his gut was not unexpected. Jack heaved for air, gasping as Dan threw him down. He waited for the next blow, but when he raised his head, Dan was gone.


	5. Froot Loops

Dan stared at the cereal display in the gas station. Froot Loops. The kid had liked Froot Loops, his six-year-old gappy smile making Dan laugh the evening after the funeral. "Daddy, Mommy says cereal is for breakfast, not dinner! You're so silly!" Dan had wanted to correct him. Said, not says. But he had poured Jack his cereal and watched him eat. He'd be a great dad, even without Jenny. Jack had slurped the rest of his cereal, drinking the leftover milk from the bowl and grinning at him. "Mommy says that's rude," said Jack. "But I like it." Dan had laughed with him.

Dan grabbed the box of Froot Loops off the shelf and got a half gallon of milk. Maybe Jack never would call him Dad again, but maybe he could remember when he did. What did he remember about Jenny, Dan wondered. Well, fuck. Dan had fucked up about as much as a man could, he knew that. But he'd walked away from hitting him after the first punch today, hadn't he. It wasn't like he'd kept going. Next time he'd walk away first. Deep breaths, like they said. He walked back to the park, listening for cars so he could step off the road before they hit and killed him in the dark. He'd have to turn right around to get to work by five, but maybe Jack would eat the cereal. 

Jack woke up to Race's text. _Bus is here in five minutes. You up?_

_Sure_

Jack rolled out of bed and headed toward the door, running his fingers through his hair. Probably should have changed his tshirt, but whatever. Race wouldn't care. 

"Hurry up, Jack!" shouted Romeo, running up behind him and slapping at Jack's arm. "I'll beat you there!" Jack took off after him, picking him up and carrying him under his arm as they got close to the crowd of kids at the bus stop, Romeo shrieking with laughter.

"Hey, keep it down," said Race. "Folks don't like it if we wake them up in the morning."

"Yeah, keep it down, Romeo, jeez," said Jack. He dropped Romeo in a heap on the ground as the bus rumbled into the park entry, and followed Race onto the bus, only now realizing he'd forgotten his backpack.

Race gave him a once over as they sat down. "Looking a little rough this morning. Your dad go off?"

Jack laughed. "So what else is new. Maybe Kath can give me some of her makeup and make me pretty."

Dan stood in the kitchen and saw the unopened box of Froot Loops still on the counter. Stupid ungrateful little bastard. He watched the door as he heard Jack's footsteps come up the outside steps. Grabbing the box, he met Jack as he came in, trying to keep from shaking.

"Hi, Dan," said Jack, stopping as he came in. "Having an after school snack?" He ran his wrist under his nose and gave Dan a big grin, cocky little fuck like he always was.

Dan took a deep breath. "Thought you'd like them, that's all."

"That's for me?" Jack laughed. "Are you serious? Why?? I thought maybe you had a thing for them or something. Yeah, sure, I'll have some later."

"These were your favorites!" Dan shouted. "Jesus!" He threw the box at Jack, who caught it. "I got them for you, you ungrateful shit!" He grabbed Jack by the shirt, and closed his eyes. He took another breath. He let Jack go and went to his bedroom, locking the door.

_____________________

“What’s the matter, Jacky,” Kath asked, slapping her lunch down. “You look a little tired today.”

"My dad says the college is gonna furlough folks," said Jack. "He's getting kinda moody about it." He tugged at his T-shirt as he watched Kath sit down. “Anyway, nothing what concerns you,” he said, grinning. “No one's gonna furlough big shots like your dad, right. So when are we gonna be invited over to your end of town, anyway? You’ve been here forever now. Or is this just an act, hanging out with the likes of us at school?”

Kath took a bite of her pita sandwich and considered. “Dad has meetings on Thursday night. You wanna come over then?” Race raised his eyebrows at Jack. Jack shrugged. Why not. “Okay. He’ll be gone by six. It’s a board meeting, so he’ll be gone for hours.”

Jack glanced over at Race, rain dripping down his face as they trudged down the road into town. “You’re sure we shouldn’t just call her and ask for a fucking ride,” he said. “She’s got a car.” A car swerved around them, the splash soaking the rest of their jeans.

“Dude, shut it. Quit being such a whiny ass baby,” said Race. “You’re the one who wanted to stop at the station and buy snacks.”

“We don’t gotta show up and eat all her stuff, asshole,” said Jack. “Besides, you think her dad buys any snacks worth eating? Fucking broccoli sticks, I bet.” Race conceded the point.

Another car swerved around them, this time pulling over ahead of them. Jack peered through the rain. Fuck. It was Mayer’s car. He slopped up to the passenger side door and bent down. “Hey,” he said.

“You fellas need a ride?” Mayer asked. He smiled at Jack and gestured for him to get in.

”We’re good,” said Jack. “Almost there. Thanks, though.”

“Yes, please,” said Race, pulling open the rear passenger door and getting in. “Sorry for getting your car all wet.” Jack gave Race a dirty look as he reluctantly got into the passenger seat.

Mayer looked them over. “Where you headed?”

“You know where Mr. Pulitzer lives?” Jack asked. Mayer nodded, looking a little skeptical. “His daughter invited us over.”

“Ah,” said Mayer, pulling back out onto the road. “So, how’ve you been, Jack?”

“Good,” said Jack. 

“How’s school going?”

“Good,” Jack repeated. 

“You need anything?” asked Mayer as he turned down Kath’s street.

“No, sir,” said Jack. “I’m good. Thanks for the ride.” Even before Mayer stopped completely, Jack opened the door and got out, charging the front door of Kath’s house as Race scrambled after him.

Mayer shook his head. “I don’t know. I mean, I know we’re doing this to help support reunification and families and all that, but Jack just didn’t look good,” he said. “His sneakers were more duct tape than sneakers. Neither of them had jackets. His color wasn’t good, he’s lost weight. I just...” He slumped on the end of the bed. “I’m worried about him.”

Esther sat down next to him and rubbed his back. “And this is exactly why we’re doing this work. Because you are a man who cares so much,” she said. “Jack will always remember that, no matter what he says to you.”

“Something’s not right, Esther,” he said quietly. “Something was off.”

Esther leaned in and kissed him. “Come to bed. Jack has his phone. If things get too bad, he knows he can tell us.”

Kath screeched to a halt at the entrance to the park. “You’re sure you don’t want me dropping you guys off,” she said. “I can see the trailers. I know you guys live in them. Secret’s out, you know.”

Race leaned over the seat. “This car would be stripped and sold by the time you came out. We’re good. And hey, next time Jack and me pick the movies. We brought the damn snacks, so that should’ve given us some power.”

Kath pointed at the door. “You ate all my Doritos, which, by the way, are my dad’s favorite, so now I have to go get some before he gets home. Now get out, both of you.”

Grumbling, but with little to actually say, Race and Jack got out, watching as she screeched back out onto the road. 

“Her car would not have ever made it back to our places, Jack,” said Race. “Come take a look at this.” They walked down the road, the puddles getting wider and deeper as they went until they were walking ankle deep in water. 

“Water covers your first step when it’s like this, Jacky. See you in the morning,” Race said, pointing over to Jack’s stoop before heading further down the road. Jack sloshed home, standing on the dry step for a couple of minutes, waiting for the water to drain down his legs. He took off his sneakers and poured the water out before going inside, startled to see his dad still awake.

“Thought you’d be in bed,” said Jack. “Ain’t you on firsts still?”

Dan looked groggily at Jack. “Nope.”

“Seconds?” Jack tried to count the cans on the floor.

“Nope.”

“If you’re on thirds, you’re late, yeah?”

Dan leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that? College had a meeting tonight with HR and them. Last hired, first fired. All kinds of cuts all over the place, like a fucking bloodbath. ‘Effective immediately.’ Got a text. Didn’t even have the guts to tell me in person, arrogant pricks.”

Jack bit the inside of his lip. “Oh.”

Dan looked up. “Oh? That’s all you gotta say?” He stood up, swaying. “That’s it?” 

Jack froze. “Maybe other places are hiring janitors.”

“‘Maybe other places are hiring janitors,’” Dan imitated, his voice high. “Fucking ignorant. Stay with those folks that got everything, and you forget how things really work, don’t you,” he said, his voice rising, pointing at Jack. “Don’t you!”

Jack made a rush for his bedroom, hoping to make it in time to shut and block the door until Dan gave up or passed out. He wasn’t fast enough.


	6. Friends?

Jack woke up on the floor, watching as his dad threw his remaining beer cans against the wall. One burst open, spraying all over the floor. Jack squeezed his eyes shut to keep his head from pounding. He shifted his arms underneath him and put his face in his hands, one of them coming away sticky with blood.

Dan was suddenly close to him, bending over his face. Jack pulled away, stopped only by Dan’s hand. Jack jerked but was unable to move. “Hey, I'm sorry,” said Dan. “I don’t know what come over me. Here’s a dishtowel.” He handed Jack a cloth to put on his head. “I start out good, then it don’t last. And the guys stopped by with the beer after we all heard about our jobs. I had to have one with them, you know? Everyone was mad.”

Jack held the towel to his head and pushed himself up to his knees using his other arm. 

“Jack, I’m better, ain’t I? I ain’t as bad as I used to be, right? Even when I mess up, I don't hit as much, right? I won’t drink anymore, I promise. It was just this once. I lost my fucking job, Jack. Those guys at the college actually got a bonus for firing us. Can you believe that? Don’t I get a beer for that?” Dan put his hand on Jack’s shoulder as Jack moved to sit against the wall. “Hey. I’m better than I was, right?”

Jack looked dully out from under the dishtowel. “Yeah,” he said.

Jack lay on the couch, his head still pounding. No. Someone was pounding on the door.

“Jack! Jacky! You there? It’s Race.”

“Yeah,” he tried to shout. “It’s open.”

Race came in, followed by Kath. Shit.

Jack looked at Kath. “Don’t look like Race,” he mumbled. “Too pretty.”

“Very funny,” said Race. “You’re hilarious. Where the fuck were you today? You sick? Answer your damn texts, will ya,” Race complained. Jack took his hand off of the gauze he’d fixed himself up with, and waved his bandaged hand at Race. “Well, fuck. Your dad fuck with you last night?”

Jack nodded and closed his eyes.

“Where is he now? Jack?” Race made sure he had Jack’s attention. Jack shrugged.

Race looked at Kath. “Can you take him to your place? If his dad comes back and he’s still high or drunk, he’ll fuck with Jack again.” Kath looked startled, but nodded.

“M’bag,” said Jack. “Need my bag.”

“You’re not doing homework tonight, I don’t think,” said Kath.

Jack started to get up, reaching for Race to help him. “My bag.”

“You got it, Jacky,” said Race. “I’ll go get it. I’ll get you a change of clothes, too. You’re going to Kath’s and get cleaned up. You sit here a minute.”

Race walked fast over to Jack’s room, picking up Jack’s backpack. He looked inside and saw what Jack meant. Gauze, tape, and other supplies were stashed in an inside pocket. Some had been used, obviously, but there was still plenty left. Nice. Race threw Jack’s duffel bag on his bed and reached in for a change of clothes. His hand grazed a tin can. He pulled it out and turned it around in his hand before reaching back in. An empty bread bag and two more cans were stuffed under his socks. Good job, Jack, he thought. He put them all in Jack’s backpack just in case, and slung the bag over his shoulder.

“Okay, Jack, let’s get you in Kath’s car,” he called. He and Kath wrestled Jack out the door and into his seat. "Hey, did your dad tell you to clean up your place?" Jack nodded, his eyes closed. "I got you, Jacky. I'll get it cleaned up for you." He ruffled Jack’s hair and watched for a second as Kath started down the lane. Okay, Anthony. See what you can do in ten minutes and then get the fuck out of there.

Kath floored it to her house. She’d made a good show of dressing to intimidate at certain schools, but she’d never actually been near this kind of blood or violence. She used her words. Jack’s head rested against her window, leaving marks of blood through the bandage. My God. And he smelled. Of what, booze and blood? Is that what blood smelled like?

She opened the garage door and went around to Jack’s door. She knocked on the window so he’d pull away. Once it was safe to open, and he had fumbled enough with the seat belt to get it undone, she reached in to help him out. His shirt slipped up his side, and Kath blinked at the massive patchwork of bruises. She pulled the shirt back down as Jack leaned on her hard, pushing himself up.

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said. He braced himself on the hood. “I can follow you.” She walked slowly, carrying his backpack, wondering where on earth she should put him. The kitchen, first, for the blood. Then the den. Okay.

She pulled out a chair and pointed at it. “Sit there,” she said uncertainly. “Pretty sure you need fresh bandages.” Jack slumped in the chair, his elbow on the table as he rested his head in his hand. Kath took an entire roll of paper towels and started unwinding it, evaluating where to start taking off the old bandages. Once she began, Jack slowly became more alert, wincing as she peeled them off.

“I can do this,” he said, reaching for his backpack. “I got it. Where’s a bathroom I can use?” Kath pointed down the hall. Jack hauled himself up, picked up his bag, and went slowly to the door she pointed at. “Just gimme a minute.”

She waited, hearing the water running. She wasn’t sure, but her dad probably had more meetings tonight. The house was big enough Jack could probably stay here and her dad would never know, come to think of it. At last she heard the bathroom door open, and Jack emerged in his fresh clothes, his face and hand freshly bandaged, his bag in his other hand.

He sank back into the chair and smiled up at her. “So. Thanks.”

“Sure,” she said awkwardly. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Say, I don’t wanna be rude, but you got anything to eat? Last thing I had was, um, some of your dad’s Doritos.” He pointed at the fridge. 

Kath leaped to the fridge like she was on fire. “Of course! What do you want?”

“Anything,” he said tiredly. She had never heard a kid sound so indifferent. 

“Tell you what,” she said. “Let’s get you in the den and then I’ll bring stuff in there for us.” Jack nodded and shuffled after her, collapsing on the couch, his head rolling back.

Jack chewed the leftover beef stroganoff on the less damaged side of his mouth, aware that he should not be this vested in Finding Dory. But he was. 

“So, Jack,” Kath started. Here we go, he thought. “Race told me about your dad on our way over to your place.” Ah. So, less explaining. Good, Racer.

Jack grunted. Dory and the turtles were always good.

“You wanna stay here tonight? Would your dad mind?” she asked. Jack paused. Would he mind. He was likely on a bender, so no, he wouldn’t mind. And if he did mind, he could fuck himself.

“Nope, he wouldn’t mind,” said Jack. “I don’t wanna piss off your dad, though. One dad beating on me is enough.”

“What started it, Jack? I mean, he didn’t just start hitting you, did he?”

Jack snorted. “He lost his job. They hired him when he got out, and now it’s gone. So yeah, lose your job, and it’s my fault.”

Kath leaned forward and touched his hair. He closed his eyes. “Jack...”

He took her hand and kissed it. “Let’s just cuddle, Thak.”

She smiled. He’d never called her that before. “You remembered.”

“Hard to forget. Plus it rhymes with Jack.”

She gently leaned up against him, her head on his shoulder. “You still hungry?” 

“You got any popcorn? Mayer and Esther had microwave popcorn and it’s good stuff.”

Kath laughed. “Yeah. Hang on.” She got up and went into the kitchen as she heard the sound of her father coming in. “Dad! Hi! I didn’t know when you’d be home.”

“Hi, baby,” Jack heard her father say. “How was your day? I had a good day, I tell you. My contract here is locked in for two years plus the bonus now that I’ve saved them more than I promised. If we stay, you can get free tuition here, how does that sound?”

“Dad...” said Kath. Jack was standing in the doorway to the den, holding onto the doorframe.

Joe Pulitzer turned and followed her gaze. “Ah! Who do we have here? Had a tough day, son?” He held out his hand. “Joe Pulitzer.”

“Jack Kelly,” said Jack, shaking his hand, glad he had cut his left hand and not his right.

“Kelly...” said Joe. He looked more closely at Jack, realization dawning at last.

“Yeah,” said Jack. “Glad the college decided not to cut your job, Mr. Pulitzer.”

“Son,” Pulitzer started, “it’s part of my job, to help make colleges and universities lean, so they can compete. I don’t make the final call, remember that. I just make the recommendations.”

Jack nodded. “I think I better get home. Thanks for letting me come over.” He leaned slowly to pick up his bag. “Thanks, Kath. I’ll see you at school.”

“No, no, don’t let me chase you off, Jack. Stay here. It’s good for Katherine to be making some friends, finally.” Pulitzer handed Kath the box of microwave popcorn. “Were you after this?” He gave a little wave as he headed for the stairs. “I’ll be in my study if you need me. Jack, good to meet you.”

Kath nodded and looked hopefully at Jack. “Let’s finish the movie, Jack. Please?” 

Jack's brain fuzzed and he turned to her. “Did you know? Did you?”

“I know he gets hired by different places to make big decisions about money. Did he tell me he was going to lay off your dad in particular? No, Jack.” She pushed the start button on the microwave.

“And now you get free college. And your dad gets a bonus. My dad wasn't lying, then.”

Kath watched the microwave as the popcorn began to pop. “I guess. But they have loads of scholarships. I bet you'd get some.”

Jack picked up his bag. “I gotta go.”

“But the popcorn...” she said. The popping picked up and started to get loud. “It’s almost done. And the movie isn't over."

He leaned in close. "Don't talk to me ever again."

"What, this is my fault? How? It's not like I can control everything just because he's my dad, you know. It's not my fault your dad is mean or that he lost his job. I'm supposed to turn down free college because you're jealous? Get real, Jack." The microwave beeped as the popcorn finished.

Jack exploded out of the house, bag in hand. How did she... why did she? His side throbbed and his head roared as he reached the downtown stretch. He picked up a stone and threw it against the wall of the drugstore. She was mad at him because he was mad at her about a job his dad, and her dad, and his dad was better wasn't he, except... his brain couldn't follow it all. He threw another stone, and another, his fresh bandage getting dusty as he reached for more. Finally dizzy, he sat on the curb near the dumpster and held his head in his hands, scuffing his sneaker in the sandy gravel.

"Hey," someone from the drugstore shouted. "Was that you? Hey, buddy! The cops are coming, asshole!"

Jack lifted his head and stood up, trying to get rid of the dizziness before having to run, when Kath's car squealed into the parking lot. "Get in," she ordered. Seeing no better options, Jack obeyed, and Kath roared out of the lot.

"We're starting over," she declared, pulling over in a parking lot on the edge of town. "We're friends, got it? I told you that weeks ago." Jack stared at her. "So what do I do, then?"

Jack thought, or tried to think. Mostly he wanted to go to bed. But her couch had those fluffy blankets and big stuffed pillows like you see in the movies... "Can we just watch Finding Dory? And have some popcorn?"

"Done."


	7. Can You Have It Both Ways

“You ever coming home?” Race asked, looking up as Jack slammed the door behind him the next morning.

“Yeah, are you?” echoed Romeo, hopping up and down behind Race, scratching at a scab on his arm.

“I’m here now, ain’t I,” answered Jack, hefting his duffel bag over his shoulder as he came down the steps. He swung it into Kath’s back seat. 

“Just to move out,” grumbled Race. “At least take Romeo with you.”

“Don’t be such a drama queen. I’ll be back on Monday,” said Jack. “Maybe he’ll be back by then. But hell, Race, Joe said I could stay the weekend, so why not. Why the fuck would I stay here?”

“Nice,” said Race. “Nice language. Nice thing to say about your best friend.”

“I’ve heard fuck before,” said Romeo, climbing into Kath’s back seat. “I say it when Race cheats at football. Which he does, all the time. Jack, let me come!”

Jack took Romeo’s ankles and dragged him out of the car. He held him up in front of Race. “You said my friend cheated at football? Hm?”

“No! No, no, no!” Romeo cried, giggling. He waved his arms toward the ground, trying to reach it.

“Say it!” Jack grinned at Race, giving Romeo a shake.

“He don’t cheat at football! Lemme down! Gaargh!” Romeo twisted to no avail. “He don’t cheat!” 

“That’s right. Now, you gonna use bad language like that around my lady?”

“Nooo! Stop! I won’t!” Romeo’s face was now a deepening shade of purple. “I promise!”

Jack laid Romeo down on the ground, pretending to step on his stomach as Romeo giggled helplessly. “Good. See ya later.”

Jack cuddled under the blanket with Kath, not crazy about seeing Russell Crowe’s tonsils in Les Mis, but really liking how soft and warm everything else was. He’d finished his foot-long sub, their fourth bowl of popcorn was nearly gone, and Jack was nearly finished with his third can of Coke, and he had to pee, but he didn’t want to move. He also didn’t want to run into Joe, as he insisted Jack call him. It was weird, staying in his house the weekend after Joe laid off his dad. Joe didn’t seem too bothered by it, which also seemed weird. On the other hand, Joe had no problem with him curling up on the couch with his daughter, buying him a gigantic sandwich, and letting him eat a sizable portion of his snacks. So...

And since when did Kath like him this much, he wondered sleepily. Who cared. He hadn’t thought she liked him this much, but he wasn’t about to argue, either. Okay, time to pee. Jack slipped out from under the blankets, used the restroom, and took a minute to look in the mirror. Rough, Kelly. Definitely rough. Esther would have a fit. Esther? He shook his head, wondering where that one came from. As he crept back onto the couch and wrapped a sleeping Kath around him, gently, very gently. He sank down into the cushions and pillows, put his feet up on the table, and fell asleep.

“How do you like your steak, Jack?” Joe asked from the grill as Jack helped Kath bring the plates out to the table on the patio.

Jack slapped on a grin. “On my plate, Joe,” he said. “I ain’t fussy.” He also had no idea what the choices were. How did he like it? Who the hell knew. It smelled good in any case. Boy, his dad should see him now. It almost made it worth it, hiding out here after his dad went berserk, and here he was with the guy who fired him, telling him how he wanted his steak. Fuck you, Dan, he thought. Look at me now.

Joe smiled back at him. “You got it. I’ll make it the way I like mine.” He peered at Jack’s forehead. “You feeling any better, son? Did you tell the principal what happened in that locker room?”

“I’m good,” said Jack. “You should see the other guy.” He shot a warning look at Kath. She shook her head, but didn’t say anything.

Joe brought the plate of steaks over to the table. “Help yourself, Jack. Kath, could you run inside and get the salad?” Kath darted inside as Jack sat down, stabbing the steak closest to him on the plate Joe had brought over. “Jack, I wanted to tell you, you don’t have to keep sleeping on the couch. We have two extra bedrooms here, you know. You can officially take one if you stay the night. Bear in mind I lock Katherine in her tower every night, if you get what I mean.”

Jack hesitated. He actually kind of liked their couch. It reminded him of Esther and Mayer without sleeping in a bedroom the way Esther liked for him to. “That’s nice, Joe, thanks. But I’m good. The couch is great. Thanks, though. And thanks for all this,” he said, pointing at the table with his fork.

“I’m glad Kath is finally bringing friends over,” he said, smiling at Kath as she handed him the salad bowl. “And you’re welcome.” He paused. “Jack, your dad will find a new job, I bet. We just couldn’t afford so many low-level people. A lot of them had problems with drugs and whatnot, and that’s trouble, every time. Theft, absenteeism, you name it. Not your dad, I’m sure, but a lot of them.”

Jack nodded, eating slowly. What would Dan do now, he wondered. After the bender, that is. Race had dutifully reported that there had been no sign of Dan. Definitely a bender. They’d get evicted. Again. Maybe his dad would deal again and get arrested, and Jack would go back in the system. Maybe he’d go back to Esther and Mayer. Maybe not. Maybe he’d go back to... stop. Just stop. He choked briefly, grabbing his glass of lemonade and chugging it down. Maybe Dan would get another crap job and keep up just enough and this nightmare would never end. Fuck.

“Jack? You all right?” Joe asked, cutting into his steak.

“I... I think I need some more lemonade, if that’s okay,” said Jack, looking towards the door to the kitchen. Joe gestured for him to go inside and turned to Kath.

Jack filled his glass again and leaned against the counter. Peering outside, he could see Joe talking intently with Kath. Moving fast, Jack went to their pantry and took as much food as he could carry, almost running into the den and jamming it all into his duffel. So what if Joe figured it out. Joe owed him. And what was he going to do, have his daughter’s friend arrested, when he seemed so happy she finally brought a friend over? Jack came back out with his glass and sat down, his forehead throbbing and his hand aching. He put on the grin and ate, and ate, and ate.


	8. Home

Jack watched Romeo keep his foot on the third base bag as the pitcher wound up. “Lead, Romeo, take a lead!” he shouted.

“Shut up,” said Race, jabbing him with his elbow. “No leading in this league, remember? They’re little kids.” The pitcher threw. Ball three.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Where’s the fun in that?” Romeo glanced over at Jack and Jack gestured wildly for him to take a lead. Romeo scowled and shook his head, turning his attention back to the pitcher. At the next pitch, the batter cracked it toward the shortstop. Romeo took off for home.

“No....” groaned Jack. “No runners...” The shortstop threw the ball hard to the catcher, who easily tagged Romeo out as he slid home. “He’s safe!” Jack shouted, standing up and stretching out his arms like an umpire. “Safe!”

“Oh, my God,” Kath whispered loudly, pulling on his shirt. “Sit down and shut. up.”

“What?” Jack asked, pulling his shirt back. “Hey, Romeo, good effort. Way to go, kid,” he called. Romeo grinned at him as he trotted back to his team’s bench.

Jack, Race, and Romeo headed down the lane as Kath careened back onto the road. Romeo tried carrying Jack’s duffel bag but couldn’t quite manage without dragging it on the ground.

“I got it. But thanks,” said Jack, taking the bag. “That was a good game, Romeo. I’ll pitch to you sometime if you want.” Romeo’s eyes lit up as he looked at Jack. Jack wished he still had a glove, but someone around here probably had one lying around.

Race nudged Jack. “Hey, Jacky. I think your dad’s home.” Jack stopped and looked at his trailer. There were cars all over and the door was wide open, the music thumping loudly into the park. Fuck.

Jack kept his eyes on the door. “Racer, take Romeo home, yeah? Rome, I’ll see you later. We’ll practice.” He walked slowly up to the trailer, listening and watching, trying not to make noise. Not that it mattered. Whoever was in there was obviously having a great time and the music alone would drown out any sound he’d make. Jack gripped his bag tightly and shifted his backpack on his shoulder. Cracking his neck, he took a breath and went in.

He didn’t know any of these people.

“Well, look who come home,” Dan shouted from the kitchen. “You did a crap job cleaning up, son.” Jack didn’t reply, but held his duffel up to his chest as he edged through the living area to get around the corner to his bedroom. He pushed open the door with his foot and stopped, not quite sure what he was seeing. A burly guy was passed out on his bed, an open bag of belongings on the floor. Jack backed out and made his way to the kitchen.

“There’s a guy in my bed,” he shouted at Dan over the music. Dan raised his eyebrows at him and gave him a “so what” look. “Dan!”

Dan put down his beer and leaned in toward Jack. “He’s paying rent,” he shouted back.

“He’s what?”

“He’s paying rent. For the room.”

Jack tilted his head. “You rented my room?”

“You wasn’t here last night. I thought you run off. And it’s my room, asshole, not yours. You ain’t the one paying the rent.”

“So where do I sleep?” Jack shouted back. Dan pointed at the couch. It wouldn’t be vacant anytime soon, Jack could see that. He tossed his bags into the corner and squeezed his way to the door, taking a deep breath as he dashed around the corner of the trailer and fell to his knees. The music thudded as Jack sat in the fading light. Esther wouldn’t like this, he grimly laughed to himself. He wouldn’t be getting a good night’s rest on school nights, for sure.

Jack got up and went the long way around the park to the woods. Race’s stash wouldn’t be hard to find, and, indeed, was as poorly hidden as Jack remembered. He sat back against the fallen tree and helped himself. 

“Lemme have some,” a little voice piped up behind him. Jack spurted his mouthful of beer out in front of him.

“Fuck. Romeo, no. Get lost,” Jack gasped, trying to shove Race’s bag back under the tree. “This is big kid stuff.”

“It’s just beer, ain’t it,” Romeo asked, plopping down next to Jack. “I’ve had it before.”

“That don’t mean I gotta give it to you,” said Jack, holding the can away from Romeo. “Go home.”

Romeo didn’t move. He leaned up against Jack and shivered. Jack looked down at him and put his arm around Romeo, who snuggled in close. Jack took another swig, eyes wide open in the dark.

The party was still raging when he got back at last, Romeo safely deposited at home. No cops had been called yet. Jack curled up by the steps, out of sight. He hugged his knees and finally pulled out his phone. 

Race let him in, motioning for him to be quiet. “My uncle’s asleep. I’m fucked if you wake him up,” he whispered. Jack nodded and quietly followed Race to the room he shared with his older cousin. Jack lay tensely in the lower bunk with Race, facing the wall and listening to Race’s soft breathing on his neck. He tried to sleep, but rest came in fits and starts. Race’s cousin got up and got dressed for work, not even noticing Jack was there.

Once it was quiet again, Jack slowly disentangled himself, slipped on his sneakers, and crept out of Race’s trailer as the sun came up. Dan’s place was quiet at last. Jack cracked open the door and saw a woman asleep on the couch, her arms and legs flung every direction. He went over to his bag and found a shirt and a can of pear slices that he’d taken from Joe. The can opener cracked loudly, more loudly than he ever remembered a can opener sounding, but the woman didn’t stir. Jack fished out the pears with a fork, eating them fast, before changing his shirt and heading out for the bus stop to wait for Race.

Jack took a breath as he looked up the steps. Do it, Kelly. He stomped up to the door and went in, making a racket as he slammed the door shut behind him.

“Dan?! Dan, you home?” He stormed down the hall to his dad’s room, not bothering to knock. His dad opened his eyes and looked at him blearily. “I gotta talk to you. Sit up.”

Dan sat up, slowly. “What.”

“I got a job. If I pay what that other guy pays, can I get my room back?”

“What other guy?”

“The guy! The guy you rented my room to, Dan,” Jack said angrily.

“Randy.”

“Whatever. If I pay what he pays, can I get my room back?” Jack put his hands on his hips, giving Dan a disgusted look. 

Dan rubbed his face with his hands. “Jack, buddy. You can cover the rest of our rent. You and Randy, got it? In case you ain’t noticed, I don’t have a fucking job. No one’s gonna fucking hire me.”

Jack’s heart stopped. What the fuck. “Dan, my room, man. Gimme back my room. Make Randy sleep on the fucking couch.” Jack tried not to sound desperate.

Dan pointed at Jack. “I kicked your ass the other day. You still look like shit. You need me to do it again?” He clenched his fist. He breathed. “Sorry. Sorry. I mean, Randy’s staying, got it? At least until I can get another job.”

“I thought you had to show Jessica I had a room. Didn’t you? You got it all fixed up ‘nice’ for me to impress her?” Jack was shouting again. This was a long shot. They’d never see Jessica again probably. Boxes checked. Case closed. 

Dan laughed a little. “Yeah, cuz she really cares about you. How many shitty places did she put you in, Jack? You think she’s gonna poke her nose back in my case just cuz you’re sleeping on the couch? Shit, leave me alone.” He flopped back down on his bed.

Jack came over to the bed and kicked it. “I didn’t even get the couch last night, Dan. Some lady was sleeping there.”

Dan didn’t move. “Stop whining. She gave me twenty bucks.”

Jack kicked the bed again. “Is she coming back? Do I get the couch tonight or not?” Dan shrugged, his eyes still closed. “Hey, Dan, I’m talking to you.”

“Her name is Wendy. If she pays, she gets the couch. Twenty bucks we didn’t have before. Unless you got a better idea on how to get money,” Dan mumbled.

He did not have a better idea on how to get money other than his new job. Nothing legal, anyway. Jack left Dan’s room and went to sit on the stoop. He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his wrists into his eyes, and wished as hard as he could that he’d never left Mayer and Esther’s. What a little prick he’d been to them, too. If he’d just worked harder and been less of an asshole to them... He relived the hug from Esther the morning he left, and felt her soft hands on his cheeks again. Hot tears spilled over and Jack ran for the woods, praying no one would follow him this time. He threw himself on the ground and sobbed, indulging his every desire to feel sorry for himself. He wished again so hard that Esther and Mayer were there, not to make him feel better, but to hear him cry.


	9. Chapter 9

Jack dumped another wheelbarrow full of mulch in the garden and started raking the piles out evenly. It wasn’t bad, this work. He was actually kind of good at it, as much as a person could be talented at obeying orders to haul around mulch and stone and packs of roofing shingles. He grinned to himself. Get today over with, and Kath had said he could spend the rest of the weekend at her house. Her dad had even said he’d grill out again if Jack wanted. Yes, Jack wanted, he had told her.

“Okay, enough, Kelly. We’ll finish up here on Monday,” Kloppman shouted over to him. “Let’s get loaded up.” Jack waved back at him across the yard and started getting the equipment together. He rolled the last of it into the trailer and jumped into the back seat of the truck.

“You like this work, Kelly?” Kloppman called back to him.

“Yes, sir,” Jack answered. 

“Just wait until it’s 90 degrees. You’ll like it even more,” Kloppman said, grinning in the rear view mirror. The guy riding shotgun snorted.

“Yes, sir,” said Jack. “Hey, Mr. Kloppman?”

“Yes, Jack,” he said.

“Do we get paid today? My dad wants to know.”

“Next Saturday. Tell him to hang on.”

Jack got out of the truck, surprised to see Kath’s car in the lot at Kloppman’s. He opened the passenger door and slid in, leaning over for a kiss.

“What’re you doing here?” he asked. “I gotta get home and shower first.”

“I don’t like you walking down this road all the time. It’s dangerous. But mostly I wanted to see you in your sexy uniform.” She started the car and pulled out onto the road.

Jack took off his Kloppman’s cap and shook his sweaty hair back as he ran his fingers through it before putting the cap back on. He turned so she could see his Kloppman’s T-shirt better. “How’s that?”

Kath glanced over. “Tacky.”

“Yeah, I guess. He says it’s so we don’t get shot when folks see us wandering all over people’s property. It’s a bullet-proof T-shirt, see.”

“Very sexy. I suppose it only works when it’s this dirty.”

“Now you’re catching on,” Jack smiled. Kath turned into the park and slowed as they approached his trailer. “Hey, just wait out here. I’ll be out in ten minutes. Dan’s home, so...” Kath nodded. 

Jack raced inside, tearing off his uniform, throwing his dad’s boots in the corner, and rushing through a cold shower. He yanked on his other jeans and was reaching into his bag for a T-shirt when Dan came down the hall.

“Got your money?” Dan asked.

“Next week,” said Jack, pulling on his shirt and stepping into his sneakers. He threw his uniform into his bag, hoping Joe would let him use his washer. “I gotta go. I’m coming back,” he added. “Monday, after work.”

“Next week?” Dan said. “I thought you said this week.”

“I was wrong,” said Jack, backing toward the door. “Kloppman said next week.” 

“Well, shit,” said Dan. 

“Hey, maybe Wendy can pay to sleep on the couch this weekend. Unless you’d be giving that money right back to her,” Jack said bitterly, opening the door.

Dan charged him, grabbing Jack by his shirt. “You watch your mouth,” he growled. He caught Jack in the mouth with his fist before throwing him down the steps. Jack’s bag went flying as he tried to break his fall with his arms. He rolled to a stop near Kath’s car, trying desperately to see where Dan was, but heard only the slamming of the trailer door. He ran his tongue over his lips, tasting the blood. He wiped at his mouth with his wrist and got up slowly, testing out his arms and legs. Something was busted in his knee, but it wasn’t too bad.

Kath was hovering over him. “Jack, what happened? Are you all right?”

Jack nodded, picking up his bag. “I asked for it. Let’s just go.”

“Jack! Good to see you! Kath tells me you like my grilling!” Joe shook Jack’s hand hard as Jack came into the kitchen with Kath.

“It’s pretty great, yeah,” said Jack. 

“We’ll pick up some cuts tomorrow so they’re fresh. You get into another fight?” Joe looked at Jack’s face with some concern.

“No,” said Jack. “I just tripped. Didn’t I, Kath? She saw the whole thing. Hey, can I camp out in here again?” He picked up his bag and limped into the den as Joe stepped out of his way. Jack wiped again at his split lip.

“Sure, Jack. Oh, and just one note. I stocked up on snacks for you two in the pantry. But the college’s cleaning service people seem to think they can also help themselves. So it’s locked now. Kath and I have the keys, so just ask if you want anything at all. I bought a lot of popcorn, since you seemed to like it so much last week.”

“Thanks,” said Jack. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I almost fired them all, but it’s cheaper to use them once a week than to ask to be reimbursed for the cost of a full-time maid. We’re all about cost savings, right? They’ve been warned, though.” Joe met Jack’s eyes and gave him a broad smile as Jack came back into the kitchen.

“Oh,” said Jack uncertainly. He stood in the kitchen, not sure what else to say. His one swipe had nearly cost those people their jobs? A little cold pit of fear sat in his stomach.

“I also had the college update the security cameras around the property, just in case they tried anything else,” said Joe. He laughed and slapped Jack on the back a little harder than necessary. Jack winced.

Kath let out an exaggerated moan. “Jack doesn’t want to hear about the cleaning service or the cameras, Dad.”

“Right, right. Sorry. I like to hear myself talk sometimes. I thought maybe we’d order out from the Szechuan Garden? Jack, you like Chinese?” Jack nodded dumbly. “Great. Hey, how about you come with me to pick it up. You’ll love this car.”

“Daaaaad-duh,” Katherine groaned. 

“You can come with us, pumpkin,” said Joe. “Come on, Jack, you’ll really love it.”

Jack sat awkwardly in the passenger seat of Joe’s car. It was really nice, Joe was right. It had a great smell, (“You like that new car smell, do you?” Joe chuckled.) and Joe encouraged Jack to play with the controls for the passenger seat. He moved himself up and down, back and forth, and nearly jumped out of his skin when it came alive behind him. (“The massaging feature, Jack, relax, son!”)

“I told them, you can’t raise money driving around in some three-year-old car! People don’t want to give money to you if they think you’re not successful. They want to give money to success. Remember that, Jack. Luckily, they listened to me. A new lease every year as long as I bring in a donor every year, how about that?! Easiest thing in the world. Cheaper than buying a new car, too, I reminded them. Cost savings.”

Jack didn’t really follow, except he knew he liked this car. 

“So how’s your dad’s job search this week? Any leads?”

Jack ran his tongue over his split lip again. “A couple.”

“And?”

“They didn’t like his record.” And he was drunk when he applied. And he was pissed when they didn’t call, or when they said no the minute they saw the checkmark. And Jack heard about and felt every rejection. Jack had almost been relieved when Wendy showed up a couple of nights ago. Dan had been home only five minutes and Jack had seen what kind of a night it was going to be, and presto, Wendy was there. A night out in the woods had been positively peaceful.

“A positive attitude, and he’ll get there. I wish him all the best. It’s so good you have a job now, Jack. Builds character, and gives you a little pocket money to take Kath out, am I right?” Joe glided into the parking lot. “Here we are. You two go get the bags, all right? And Jack,” he said, handing him a twenty, “add another order of your favorite. It’ll be nice for a midnight snack.”

“Thanks,” said Jack. He limped after Kath. He didn’t want to place an extra order, though. The cold pit grew a little, but he wasn’t sure why.

Jack and Kath stretched out on the couch. His knee ached. 

“So this guy, that one right there, he’s a good dancer,” said Jack. He was pretty sure his knee would not allow for that kind of jumping around right now.

“They’re all good dancers,” said Kath.

“I like this movie. It’s better than the one with all the bad haircuts,” said Jack, reaching for more popcorn. “The music’s weird, but I like it.”

Kath sighed. “Good. I’ll tell the Academy you approve of the eleven awards it won. Jack, have you seriously never seen West Side Story before?”

Jack grinned as he poured another handful of popcorn in his mouth. “Nope. Part of my charm. Educate me, o noble one.” Crumbs spilled all over the couch and floor. “Whoops.” He picked up a few, then threw them back on the floor. “That’s right, I forgot. You have a cleaning service come in. I better leave something for them to do, huh.”

Kath slapped at him as he laughed. “Don’t be stupid. That’s rude.”

“Oh ho, now I’m rude,” said Jack. Suddenly a few pieces clicked into place. “So how is it that your dad ‘recommended’ laying off a bunch of campus janitors, but you still get a cleaning service?”

Kath pursed her lips. “You can’t entertain donors in a slum, Jack. Even I know that. You heard my dad. And you have a good time here, don’t you? You didn’t exactly say no when my dad said you could come over this weekend, did you?”

Jack focused on the movie again. “Okay, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He didn’t want to miss Joe’s cookout tomorrow. “I’m gonna make another bag of popcorn, okay?”

“Okay,” said Kath. She still looked a little grumpy, he thought. Well, he could change that pretty easily. After the popcorn.


	10. Good Day or Bad Day? You Decide

Joe grinned at Jack, watching the boy focus intently on the grill. “Want to give it a try, Jack?” Jack’s face brightened as he nodded. “Here, I’ll show you how.” Joe mirrored the motion of flipping the steaks carefully as Jack held the tongs for the first time. This kid wasn’t so bad, even if his dad was a loser. Knock him into line with the lock on the pantry, and he’d be nice to have around. He could teach Jack a lot, and Jack seemed like an appreciative kid. Food was the measure of control with Jack, he could see. If he gave Katherine any trouble, or continued to push any limit, all he’d have to do is take away the food. Withdraw it, he’d disappear. With some kids it was more difficult, but not here. Joe basked in the pleased look Jack gave him after flipping all the steaks. 

“What do you know about seasoning, Jack?” Joe asked, knowing full well the answer. “Let me show you what I have here, and you can tell me what sounds best for today.” He pontificated about each bottle, watching Jack pay close attention and admiring Joe’s level of knowledge. Joe reveled in broadening this young man’s mind. Jack hesitantly picked out a seasoning, and Joe nodded approvingly, absorbing Jack’s look of relief at having made a “good” choice. 

“You know what’s good, Jack? Fresh fish. Have you ever been camping? We should go camping sometime,” said Joe, noting Jack’s suddenly blank look, and ignoring Katherine’s moan from the patio table. “Good seasoning is important there too. It’s a peaceful escape, sleeping out under the stars, away from all this,” he said, waving his hand at the house. “A good time to connect with family, right, Kath?”

Kath dropped her head to the table and mumbled something in reply with words that sounded like “hang myself.”

Joe smiled and looked at Jack. He paused, sensing a change. Jack wasn’t smiling anymore. What was this, a vibe of hostility? He grinned again at Jack. Nothing. Joe’s grin faded. 

Jack stared at the steaks. Peaceful, sleeping out under the stars. Good time to connect with family. He rolled his shoulder, remembering how stiff he got last time he’d slept out under the stars. He sure as fuck wasn’t connecting with family. The bugs had been bad. Better than what Dan had in store for him, but that’s not the kind of peaceful escape Joe had been talking about, was it.

He felt his heart start to pound. His face hardened as he looked back at Joe. Joe was giving him an odd look.

“I hate camping, Joe. And how’s come you still got a cleaning service when my dad’s laid off?” 

Joe didn’t smile. “My job requires a certain level of appearance, Jack. Let’s not make this personal.”

Jack took the bottle of seasoning he’d chosen and dropped it on the patio. The bottle shattered, and Joe jumped back. “It’s personal. He got me back because of that job.” Jack pointed at his faded black eye and fresh split lip. “He give me these because he ain’t got it anymore.”

Joe chuckled, holding up his hands. “Let’s not take this too far, Jack. Your father has some issues, I’d say. Now, let’s get this cleaned up, have our steaks, and I’ll get the pie and ice cream out.”

Jack wavered. What had he done. Apologize now, Kelly. He glanced over at Kath, who was watching them both with wide eyes. He liked it here. Joe was generous, but that little pit of cold in his stomach hadn’t gone away yet. He’d never eat this good again, he was pretty sure. He looked back at the steaks, sizzling and nearly done. 

“I gotta go, Joe,” he said. “You take care of yourself.”

Kath ran after Jack into the house, pulling at his shoulder. “Jack, no. Come on! You guys were getting along.” Jack slung his bag over his shoulder and limped past her toward the door. “What about me? What about us?”

Jack paused. “You can come hang out with me if you want, Kath.”

Kath didn’t move. Jack snorted. “That’s what I thought.” He shifted his bag and went out the door.

Kath ran back to the patio. “What did you do? Why do you always do this? I bring home a boy I like and you always, always get rid of them!”

Joe stopped turning the steaks and looked at Kath. “He was here only for the food, Katherine. I hate to tell you, but I think once you think about it you’ll see I’m right. He wasn’t going to last. He’ll end up like his father, anyway. He’s got no sense of how to get ahead.”

Katherine whirled and ran up to her room, flinging herself on her bed and pounding her pillow. 

Jack reached Green Meadows at last, his knee screaming at every step. Dan wasn’t expecting him back until tomorrow, though. Jack opened the door to the trailer quietly, relieved not to see anyone. Well, Randy was snoring. No sign of Dan. Jack threw his bag on the couch so Dan could tell he was back. He shook out his hand, pulled out his phone, and texted Race. Going quietly into Dan’s room, he helped himself to some of his vodka, and headed out to the woods.

“Fucking princess,” Jack said, passing the bottle to Race. “Didn’t even give me a ride.”

Race shook his head, taking a long drink. “Fuck her. And her dad. You don’t gotta put up with that, Jacky.”

“He got his own cleaning service, Racer,” Jack went on, taking the bottle back. “Fuck. And a car that rubs your back.”

“Massage,” said Race.

“Yeah.” Jack took one last drink and put the bottle into Race’s bag, stuffing it under the fallen tree. “I’m sick of them. Let’s go play some football.” He held out his hand to Race and helped him up.

“Your knee okay?” Race asked.

“It’s fucking fine. Let’s go.”

Jack sat by the edge of the grass, his knee throbbing. “Hey! Move back, Race! You didn’t gain that much!” He waved his hand to get Race to move his team back. Race rolled his eyes and moved them back. Jack leaned back on his hands, grinning as he saw Romeo come down the lane. He waved at him and put his hand back down. Romeo waved back a little and came and sat next to Jack.

“Hey, go play,” urged Jack. “We need you. I got a bum knee today.” Romeo didn’t get up. Jack took a second look at him. “You all right?”

Romeo looked blurrily up at Jack. “Yup.”

Jack tried not to laugh. “How many fingers?” He held up three. Romeo looked at Jack’s hand and started to throw up. Jack leaped back in time to get out of the way.

“Okay, kid,” said Jack. “What’d you get into?”

Romeo spat a few times and looked at Jack with watery eyes. “The new bottle.”

“In the woods? Just now?” Jack asked. Romeo nodded. Shit. “That’s strong stuff, Romeo. That ain’t beer.” Romeo gave Jack a pathetic look and threw up again.

“Gross!” shouted some of the kids from the game. “Get out!”

Jack waved at them and took Romeo by the hand. “Come on. Let’s get you home.” Romeo’s mom had seemed pretty nice the other night. This shouldn’t be hard.

Romeo shook his head as he stumbled next to Jack. “My mom’ll be mad.”

“She hit you?”

Romeo shook his head again. “No.”

“You’ll be okay. If she’s mad just let her be mad, okay? You shouldn’t have had that stuff anyway. I told you it was for big kids,” Jack scolded. Romeo slowed down, hanging his head.

Jack stopped and bent down. “Hey, look at me.” Romeo looked at Jack briefly. “You wanna sit with me out in the woods, that’s good. Just bring a Coke or something next time, okay? You don’t gotta drink that stuff to come sit with me. Understand?”

Romeo nodded and threw up on Jack’s sneakers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any preference for the next chapter? I have a couple of ideas, but I’d love to hear what you think!


	11. Because Of Course

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot in terms of plot here. Just felt like writing something. Faint glimmerings of Kath having a soul after all, though.

Kloppman had been right. Ninety degree mornings were terrific, Jack thought as he dropped another bundle of roofing shingles on Joe’s driveway, in front of the old carriage house. He hoped Kath wouldn’t notice he was part of the crew, but it was only a matter of time. They had pulled up right as Joe had been leaving that morning, and Jack had slouched down in the back seat, his cap nearly covering his face, as Joe and Kloppman exchanged waves. 

The shingles at last piled in the right spots for the roofers, Jack wiped his forehead with the bottom of his T-shirt as he waited for his next assignment. He gazed up at Kath’s bedroom window, wondering if she was even up yet. Probably not. Jack hadn’t even seen Kath since school let out, and even then it had been a passing encounter in the hall. He wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong, other than tell her dad off, but she didn’t come to have lunch with him and Race anymore, and eventually stopped talking to him altogether. Fine. She'd made it clear she didn't want to be with him anyway when she didn't come with him the last time he was here.

“Kelly,” Kloppman called. “Start getting the stone out. Dump it where the tarps are, not on the ground, right? Start on the west side,” he said, pointing.

“You got it,” said Jack. He grabbed a wheelbarrow off the trailer and took it over to the pile of stone that had just been dumped from the truck. Taking a shovel, he started loading the stone into the metal wheelbarrow. This ought to wake her up, he thought grimly. He glanced again up at her window. No movement yet. 

The wheelbarrow full, he grabbed the handles, lifting it and taking it around to the west side. The patio side, of course, he grumbled to himself. He dumped the first load and went back for the second. He lost track of how many trips he made, hoping that the pile out front was actually getting smaller and that he would be allowed to stop some day. On trip four thousand and ninety two, sometime that seemed close to lunch, he came around the corner and lurched to a stop. Kath was on the patio, stretched out on a lounge chair in her bathing suit, reading a book, like she’d been there for hours.

Kath lowered her sunglasses to look at Jack. “Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” Jack replied. “Any chance I can get through here?” He lifted the handles a little higher and pointed with his chin.

“You’ll have to go around,” she said, putting her sunglasses back on and going back to her book.

Jack grimaced. “Kath, come on, lemme through.” He got a better grip on the handles of the wheelbarrow.

“No,” she said, turning a page.

“Kelly, get a move on! Them stones don’t move themselves!” Kloppman shouted. Jack backed up and went the long way around. Kloppman came up to him, putting his hand on Jack’s chest, speaking loudly enough for Kath to hear. “Don’t get in the customers’ faces, okay? They wanna read on their chairs, you let them read on their chairs.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jack.

“Lunch break in fifteen minutes. Maybe she’ll be gone after that,” Kloppman said quietly. Jack grinned at him and went to empty the wheelbarrow.

Jack filled his water bottle at the outside faucet and drained it immediately, pouring the last of it over his face. The morning had been hot, but the afternoon had been brutal. Kloppman had worked in an extra ten-minute break for them after one of the guys got sick from the heat and had to leave, but Jack was done. Through. He sagged against the truck as Kloppman locked up the gate on the trailer, feeling his soaked shirt stick to the door. Thunderstorms were supposed to be rolling in, and they couldn't get here soon enough, he thought.

Joe pulled up into the driveway as Kloppman came around to the driver’s side. Jack kept his head down, but there wasn’t much of a place to hide. Joe saw him.

“How’d it go today, Kloppman?” Joe asked. “Get it all done?”

“Sure did,” replied Kloppman. “It was a hot one, but we got it done.”

“Let me have a look around, then, if you have a minute,” said Joe, getting out of his car. Jack slid down to the driveway and rested against the truck as Kloppman walked around the house with Joe. He looked up at Kath’s window again. The curtain fluttered, but he didn’t actually see her. He took his shirt and wiped his face again for whatever good it would do to wipe his face with a damp shirt. It felt good to sit, though.

“Kelly!” shouted Kloppman. Jack’s head shot up. He pushed himself up and went around back until he caught sight of his boss.

“Right here,” he said. “What’s up?”

Pulitzer pointed at the patio. “The patio is all marked up with wheel marks.”

Jack looked. Yup, those were his wheel marks. He looked at Kloppman.

Kloppman sighed. “Get those scrubbed clean, Kelly. Get the brushes out of the truck and I’ll be back to pick you up.” 

Jack stormed back to the truck, noisily pulling out the bucket and brushes. Kloppman patted his shoulder as they passed each other, but Jack barely felt it. He filled the bucket with water, slammed everything down on the patio, and got down to start scrubbing.

“Sorry, Jack, excuse me,” said Joe, coming out of the house with a plate of food. “We’re going to have to work around each other here. I promised Kath we’ll grill out tonight.”

Jack didn’t look up, but moved over so Joe could get by. He scrubbed as fast and hard as he could, but there was no avoiding Joe or the grill or the smell of the burgers Joe was making now. Joe whistled as he fussed at the grill and put up the umbrella over the patio table.

“Jack,” he heard Katherine say. “What’re you still doing here? I thought everyone had left.”

“Everyone but me,” said Jack, focusing on the patio. “Gotta get these marks up.”

“Oh,” said Kath. Jack kept working.

“Kloppman has to teach Jack how to do good work, Katherine,” said Joe. “Follow through. Put in a full day’s work. Take care with how you do things. Life skills like that are important, as I’ve told you many times.”

Jack inched his way across the patio, gritting his teeth. Pompous prick. He willed his stomach not to growl as the smell of the burgers grew. 

“Ready, Kath? How do you want yours done? Come pick out the one you want,” Joe called. Kath got up and stood by Joe, pointing at the one she wanted. Jack looked up a little while later and watched Kath bring her dishes inside once she was done eating, while Joe leaned back and looked at his phone while he finished his lemonade. He felt his gut fill with loathing for them both, and he took it out on the scrub brush.

At long last, Jack was nearly done, and his phone buzzed with a text. Jack dried his hands on his jeans and checked it. Kloppman would be there in ten minutes. Jack got up and cracked his back and neck as he stood. “Kloppman’s coming,” he muttered to Joe.

Joe wiped his mouth with his napkin and surveyed Jack’s work from where he sat at the patio table. “You can finish tomorrow,” he said. Jack didn’t reply. He’d do whatever Kloppman told him he’d do, but he sure as hell didn’t want to come back. 

“Yes, sir,” he said.

His phone buzzed again. _Flat tire. Ask Mr. Pulitzer for a ride? Sorry._ Fuck. He would definitely not be asking Joe for a ride, not in his fucking stupid car. He’d pass Kloppman’s on his way home, since it was just down the road from the park. He’d walked it before, so he could fucking do it again. Picking up his bucket, he glared at Joe.

“There a problem, Jack?” Joe asked, not looking up.

“Kloppman has a flat tire,” said Jack, his voice hard. 

“Oh,” said Joe. He didn’t say anything more.

"I'll take you home, Jack," Kath said from the doorway. She held out a bottle of water to him as she walked by on her way to her car. Jack ran it over his face as he followed, not sure he wanted a ride from her, but not sure he wanted to turn it down, either. Get in the car, Kelly, damn. He sighed as he sat back in his seat, cracking open the water and gulping it down.

"Thanks," he said, closing his eyes as the air conditioning kicked in.

"Sure."

Jack didn't know he'd fallen asleep until the rattle of driving through the park woke him up. Kath pulled up a little ways from his trailer and stopped. "Looks like you're having a party tonight," she said.


	12. Mayer and Esther

Jack staggered down the road, pretty sure he was headed in the right direction. Cars reliably swerved around him as he headed back toward town. He didn’t know what he’d say, but he had to see them. The street of modest homes was much as he had remembered it. He approached their house, the lights glowing out onto the small yard. They’d be in bed soon, he bet. He stood on the sidewalk. Hello, I’m drunk. Hello, you helped screw me. Hello, can I stay here tonight forever. Jack stepped onto their lawn, trying to see into the living room through the curtains that weren’t completely drawn. Mayer walked by. Jack jerked away, setting off the automatic porch lights, blinding him as he tumbled back toward the street.

He tripped on the edge of the sidewalk and crashed into a parked car. Jack sat stunned, shaking his head for a moment before grabbing at the side of the car and getting up.

The front door of the house opened as Mayer looked out. “Hello?” he called.

“Anybody there?” Jack heard Esther ask Mayer.

“Doesn’t look like it,” Mayer replied. Jack picked himself up and walked as fast as he could back down the street, not daring to look back. “Wait. Jack? Jack, is that you?!”

Jack stopped. He turned and saw Mayer rush across his yard. “Jack?” Jack looked past him at the ground. “Hey, come on in,” said Mayer gently. “Come on.”

Mayer berated himself as he led Jack inside. The gaunt, grim face he’d seen in his car several weeks ago hadn’t changed much. He should have listened to his own alarm bells. “Esther,” he called. “Look who came to visit.”

Esther came down the hall, wrapped in her robe. “Jack,” she said, her voice just a little over a whisper. “My sweet boy.” Jack’s lip trembled. “Come here,” she said, holding her arms open. Jack stepped toward her and melted into her arms.

He shifted his face, still resting it on Esther’s shoulder, so he could see Mayer. “I’m sorry, Mayer. I’m sorry I was such an asshole. That’s all I wanted to say.”

Mayer smelled the beer on Jack’s breath. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Come sit down. Are you hungry? I’ve got some apple cake around here somewhere.” He watched as Jack released Esther, taking in his unwashed Kloppman’s shirt and Jack’s bruised knuckles. He put the plates on the table, cutting a piece for Jack first. Jack grabbed it with his dirt-caked hand and shoved it whole into his mouth, reminding Mayer very much of Jack’s first days with them. It had seemed ages ago, until now. Mayer simply cut him another piece and put it on his plate. That vanished as well.

“You working at Kloppman’s now that school’s out?” asked Mayer. Jack nodded. He gulped the glass of milk and ate the third piece Mayer gave him. As he did, Jack’s face changed. Mayer watched. 

“Sorry,” said Jack, looking at their still-empty plates. “I’m sorry.”

“I’ll get you something more filling,” said Mayer. “I’ve got some spaghetti I can heat up.”

Jack shook his head. “I gotta go. It’s late. I’m sorry. Thanks for the cake, though. I’m sorry.” 

Esther leaned forward and took Jack’s hand. “What’s wrong, Jack? You’re safe here.”

Mayer watched Jack give Esther a long look. 

“Have the spaghetti,” she said. “I’ll have some with you.” Jack swallowed. Esther motioned to Mayer with her chin, and he got the leftovers out of the fridge to heat up. She kept her hand on Jack’s. “Talk to me, Jack.”

Jack’s voice was ragged. “It’s raining a little.” Esther furrowed her brow. “Wendy’s there. At the party.”

“Who’s Wendy?” asked Esther.

“She pays to sleep on the couch sometimes,” said Jack. Mayer exchanged a puzzled look with Esther. “It’s twenty bucks we didn’t have before. And it’s raining. A little.”

“Why is the rain a problem?” asked Mayer, spooning out the spaghetti onto their plates.

“I get wet in the rain,” said Jack. “Fucking uncomfortable. Fucking sick of it.” Mayer handed him his plate. Jack hunched over it, shoveling the spaghetti in with his fork. 

Mayer and Esther ate in silence, watching Jack eat another helping of spaghetti. Mayer got out the Rice Chex and milk and poured a bowl for Jack.

“Jack,” said Esther quietly, “does Dan know you’re here?”

Jack gave her another long look. “No, ma’am, he does not.”

“Should I call him?” she asked. “What are we talking about?”

Jack blinked at her. He looked at Mayer. “What’re we talking about, Mayer?” he asked just as quietly. “Do you know?” Mayer shook his head.

”Well, fuck,” said Jack, and went back to his cereal.

“Help me out,” said Mayer.

“Help _you_ out,” said Jack. Mayer waited. “It’s fucking raining, Mayer. And I’m fucking sick of it.” 

Esther shot Mayer a look. “Jack, let’s put you on the couch tonight, all right? You know I want you in your bed, but I know you like the couch.” 

Mayer saw a flood of tension drain from Jack’s body. Jack closed his eyes over his bowl and let a ghost of a smile come to his face, so faint Mayer wasn’t sure he’d seen it. Jack stopped eating and looked up at her. He gazed at her without saying a word. Finally he got up, kissed her cheek, and went over to the couch. He kicked off his boots, and by the time Mayer had followed him there to put a blanket on him, Jack was asleep.


	13. Mayer and Dan

Jack woke up to the alarm vibrating on his phone. He rubbed his face and blinked to make sure he was understanding where he was, exactly. Right. Yes. Esther had pushed his hair back and kissed his forehead at some point. He had held very still as she stroked his hair before she turned out the light.

He sat up slowly, then jerked a little more awake as he saw the curled up form of Mayer on the shorter couch. Esther had a name for it, but whatever. Did they have a fight? Jack felt bad, now. Mayer should have had the longer couch. Maybe they fought about him, he thought guiltily. Well, shit. Jack found his boots and pulled them on, tying them quickly. He’d better get moving if he didn’t want to be late for work.

Jack walked over to Mayer. “Hey,” he whispered. “Hey.” Mayer turned, almost falling off. “Sorry about that. You can get the big couch now. I didn’t hear you fight last night.”

Mayer startled awake. “Jack, no, we didn’t... I just didn’t want you to be...”

“I gotta get to work. Thanks for letting me crash.” Jack put on his cap and headed out the door. 

“He’s not answering my texts,” said Mayer. “I’ve sent him five. I still can’t believe he thought I was on the couch because we had fought.”

“I’m still trying to figure out what he was talking about last night with Wendy and the rain and what have you,” said Esther, shaking her head. She sipped at her coffee. “Like he couldn’t be there or something? But he has his own room, or so I thought.”

“We should tell Jessica,” said Mayer. “Get him out of there.”

“And say what? A teenage boy was hungry and tired after working all day? She’d laugh us out of her office,” Esther said, frustrated.

“There’s a difference between hungry and tired and starving and exhausted,” said Mayer. “And a little drunk.”

“Well, right, but how do we say that, other than asking her to take our word for it?” asked Esther. 

Mayer stood up and put his mug on the counter. “If Jack won’t answer me on his phone, then I’m going to find him,” he said. “He’s not slipping through my fingers twice.”

Mayer drove slowly down the road that went through the trailer park, trying to avoid the potholes as he peered for Jack’s place. At last he found it, and Mayer drew in a breath. Dan was not as tidy as Mayer, for sure, but that wasn’t a crime either, he had to remind himself. Mayer got out of his car and waved at a small boy sitting on the stoop.

“Hi,” said Mayer. “I’m Mayer. I’m here to see Jack. Do you know him?”

“Yeah,” said Romeo. “He told me not to drink his vodka and beer. So I brung a Coke today. We’re gonna go sit in the woods where he goes camping.” He flourished the can at Mayer.

Mayer raised his eyebrows. “Good,” he said. “Good choice. You guys have a tent out there or something?”

Romeo shook his head. “Jack says you can’t see nothing if you’re in a tent. It’s better without it. But he don’t let me camp. Just sit until my mom says to come home.”

Mayer nodded understandingly. “Is he inside?”

“Yeah,” said Romeo. He scooched over so Mayer could knock on the door. Race answered, his face registering some shock at the sight of Mayer as he let him in.

“Racetrack, hi,” said Mayer. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

Race shrugged. “Good, you know. Um, yeah, Jack’s in the shower since he just got back from work. You can sit here if you want,” he said, pointing at the couch. Ah, the couch. Wendy. Mayer sat and kept his face impassive as he looked around, waiting for Jack. He saw Jack’s duffel smushed in the corner. Race leaned against the wall. All was quiet except for some snoring and the sound of Jack showering.

“Is Dan asleep?” Mayer asked.

Race looked up. “That’s Randy,” he said. “He’s renting Jack’s old room. Dan ain’t here.” Mayer nodded, slowly putting some pieces together. 

“When does Dan get off work?” Mayer asked.

Race narrowed his eyes a little. “Dan got laid off a while ago,” he said.

Jack emerged from the bathroom at that point, a towel wrapped around his waist. “Racer, can you grab a shirt...” he shouted, faltering as he saw Mayer. “Shit.” He backed up toward the bathroom again, but it was too late. Race obediently rummaged through Jack’s bag for a T-shirt, which Mayer took from him. Mayer walked over to Jack and handed him the shirt, and indicated for Jack to turn all the way around. Jack pressed his lips together angrily, but obeyed. Mayer handed him the T-shirt and Jack yanked it on one arm at a time, staring at Mayer, daring him to say something.

“I’ll be outside,” Mayer said quietly. 

Mayer sat with Romeo while Jack got dressed. “So you go to the woods with Jack?”

“And Race,” said Romeo. “Race cheats at football, did Jack tell you?”

“No, he didn’t,” said Mayer. “Race shouldn’t do that.”

“Well, he does,” Romeo complained. He paused and looked down the road. “Dan’s coming. Tell Jack I’ll meet him at the woods. I’m gonna go play football,” he said. He got up and ran down the road away from Dan.

Mayer stood as Dan approached. Jack and Race came outside and came down the steps to stand by Mayer. “What’re you doing here,” Jack muttered to Mayer. Race mumbled something to Jack and took off around the corner.

“What’re you doing here,” Dan asked loudly. “What? Some social worker call you? Tell you some lies?”

Mayer shook his head. “No. Just wanted to say hi to Jack and ask him if I could take him and Race for some ice cream or something.”

“Well, you can’t,” said Dan. “Jack’s got work to do for me tonight. He didn’t clean up around here too good, did he.” Mayer felt Jack stiffen. 

Mayer nodded, looking only at Jack. “Maybe some other time, then,” he said. “I always liked having an ice cream with you, Jack.”

Jack didn’t reply, but watched as Mayer got back in his car and slowly drove off. Dan gave Jack a shove back up toward the trailer.

“What’d he want? What’d you tell him?” Dan slammed the door behind them as they went back inside.

“Nothing,” said Jack. Dan towered over him. “Nothing, I swear.”

“Then what’s he doing here?” Dan demanded.

“I dunno. He’s a little weird. He probably just wanted to get ice cream, like he said.” Jack backed up. “Maybe if you asked nice he’d get you one too. But you’d have to say please.” 

Jack knew the hit was coming after that. Smartass little bastard.

Jack’s head snapped to the right as Dan hit him hard across the face. “You think I oughta say please? How about you say it, you smartass little bastard. Trying to get me in trouble, are ya? Ain’t good enough for you, huh?” Dan landed a punch in Jack’s gut, forcing Jack to his knees, gasping for breath. “I had a job. I did everything right!” He kicked Jack in the leg as Jack tried to curl up. “And now you go whining back to them?!”

_Let’s go have some ice cream, said Mayer. To celebrate having Jack with us for the past week. They’d driven out to the old railroad station that was now an ice cream parlor, where they had framed pictures of trains and old-timey metal seats and high ceilings. Pick anything you want, Jack. We’re glad you’re with us, however long that might be, said Esther. And Jack smiled for the first time that week._

Dan grabbed Jack by the hair and pulled him up on his knees. He raised his hand to smack Jack across the face again when Randy’s door creaked open. 

“Quit, Dan,” he rumbled. “We’re gonna need him.”


	14. Jack’s New Job

Dan threw Jack down. Jack cradled his head in his hands, wondering what Randy had to do with anything, but grateful he’d stopped Dan in any case. He heard Randy walk over to him.

“You’re friends with the Pulitzer kid, right?” Randy asked. Jack peered up at him with one eye. “Answer me.” Jack nodded a little. Friends might be stretching it these days, but she had been pretty nice taking him home the day before.

Randy smirked. “It might be a good thing Dan smacked you around tonight after all. You show up there and act all sad and cry, you can do your job easy.”

“My job,” Jack repeated, his voice croaky.

Dan yanked at his hair again to get Jack up to sitting. Jack bit his lip, then set his jaw, bracing for another hit. “Pulitzer took our jobs, idiot. Time for a little payback.”

Jack didn’t say anything for a bit. Pulitzer was a bloated, entitled asshole who lived for hero worship and who’d made him scrub his patio just because he could, and Jack despised him, this was true. But that didn’t mean he wanted Dan anywhere near him.

“What’s that got to do with me?” Jack asked.

“You like him? You think he’s a good guy for laying us off and keeping all those perks for himself?” Dan yelled. Jack shook his head. “Damn right. So here’s what you’re gonna do. You’re gonna get the alarm codes for their house. Me and Randy got it all worked out last night.”

“No,” said Jack. Any plan worked out at that party was likely one fucked pile of shit. 

“No?” said Dan softly.

“No, sir,” said Jack.

Dan smiled. “You think I beat on you bad? Hm? You wanna try Randy on for size?” Jack glanced briefly at Randy, whose beefy hands were clenching and unclenching. “He saved you once. He ain’t gonna do that again.”

“Get going,” said Randy. “Don’t come back without ‘em, or we’ll have a chat that ends with you not walking so good for a while.”

Jack’s legs ached as he stood at the back door and rang the doorbell. He could see Joe through the hazy curtains in the door as he came to open it.

“Jack,” Joe said, obviously surprised.

“Hey, Joe,” said Jack quietly. Here goes. “I come to say you were right. You did the right thing, firing my dad. And I’m sorry I was rude when I dropped your bottle.” He pointed at his swollen eye. “He’s an asshole.” At least that much was the truth.

Joe stepped back and motioned for Jack to come in. “I understand it was a difficult thing to accept, Jack. And I see Mr. Kloppman has been good at teaching you to take responsibility for your actions. Come on in. I have an ice pack around here somewhere, I’m sure.”

Jack tried not to smile as he came in. That was too easy. He took a look at the code pad by the door, and could kind of see which numbers had been pushed the most, but maybe they’d changed the code when they moved in. Hard to tell with one eye, anyway. 

“Jack! Not again,” said Kath, coming to the back entrance. 

“He’s a jerk, what can I say,” said Jack, trying to smile. “Thak, I’m sorry. Whatever it was, I’m sorry. Can we be friends again?” With a two-faced animal, he wanted to add. She’d forgive him, wouldn’t she? Maybe?

”Of course,” she said, smiling at the Thak. “Dad, can we...”

“Make some popcorn? Of course!” said Joe, handing Jack an ice pack wrapped in a dish towel. “Jack, come see the updated microwave we just got. You can mute the beeps, so I’ll never know when you’re making popcorn in the middle of the night. You’ll love it, although the popcorn will taste the same, won’t it.”

Jack nodded, holding the pack to his face. “Thanks, Joe. And thanks for letting me say sorry. That’s nice of you. And I’m sorry I made such a mess on the patio. You was right to make me clean it up.” 

“No worries, Jack,” said Joe, smiling broadly. “We all live and learn. I’m glad to see you maturing into a thoughtful young man. You kids have fun. I’ll be in my study. Don’t stay up too late.” He slapped Jack on the back and Jack could hear him go up the stairs.

Kath held out her hand to Jack to lead him back to the den. Jack hesitated. “You gotta set an alarm or something?” he asked. “Last time your dad said to do something like that, right?”

“Only if you’re staying all night,” she said. “Are you?”

“Uh, yeah, I guess,” said Jack. He followed her to the back door and watched her set the alarm. How easy was that, he wondered. “Um, hey, I just remembered. I can’t stay all night. I, uh, I gotta work and my uniform is at home.”

Kath shot him an exasperated look and went to disarm the alarm. Jack watched again. “How come you punched in different numbers?” he asked, a grin on his face as Katherine rolled her eyes. “I never lived in a place where anyone would want to break in.” He paid close attention as Kath explained the different settings.

“Hmm. Very interesting, Dr. Pulitzer,” he said, stroking his chin. “But my popcorn is getting cold. What show are we watching tonight?”

“Carousel,” she said. Jack frowned. “Don’t make a face. It’s good. It’s got the same guy that was in Oklahoma.” 

Jack considered as she handed him the bowl of popcorn. “Is there more square dancing?”

“No,” she said. “It’s got a clambake.”

“What the fuck is a clambake?” he asked, flopping on the couch and tossing in his first handful of popcorn. Whatever it was, it was better than being at home. Randy and Dan could just relax for a bit.


	15. Race to Run, Run to Race

Esther stared at Mayer in horror. "I can't believe we sent him back to that man. No wonder Jack was a mess with us before he left!"

Mayer held out his arms as Esther came to lean against him. "Dan tried, I think," he said. "At least a little. It's hard to say when it got bad, but if he was caught up in the layoffs, that probably didn't help. In any case, Jack didn't tell us half of it when he was here. Dan made sure it could all be hidden under his shirt."

Esther pulled away and wiped her eyes. "We've got to go get him," she declared. "He's ours. He's my son, no matter what that monster or anyone says. I'm calling Jessica, and then we're going to go get him. And once Dan is in jail, we're adopting Jack."

"I'm not sure we can just go get him," said Mayer. "He's not a puppy." Esther glared at him. Mayer held up his hand in surrender. "But maybe we can. Call Jessica."

Kloppman pulled Jack aside before they left. "You all right? You don't look too good, there." He pointed at Jack's eye and cheek.

Jack nodded. "I'm good. Don't worry about it." Jack turned to get in the truck. His stomach felt worse than his face, knowing what was coming tonight.

"Who did that, Jack? Your dad do that?" Kloppman gently turned Jack back to face him.

Jack looked uncomfortably down at the ground. "Just messing around with some other kids. Hit my face on a rock when I fell playing football."

"Uh huh. Well, tell that rock that I noticed," said Kloppman. "You're a good kid. No one deserves to fall on a rock like that."

Jack gave Kloppman a regretful smile. It was nice of Kloppman to say that.

Jack lay awake on the couch, waiting for Randy and Dan to decide it was time to go. His stomach had been tight and squirmy all day as he tried not to throw up. His dad had looked skeptical at the explanation of the codes, but when Jack didn't back down, finally seemed to believe him. His face throbbed as he felt his nerves jangle. He'd wanted to run to Mayer and Esther after work, but didn't dare. What if they got caught up in all this? And Mayer's face, handing him his shirt. Jack closed his eyes in embarrassment that Mayer had seen what he had let Dan do. Mayer would never hit him that hard, he didn't think, but he probably didn't want a kid who let himself get beat up like that, either. And Esther, who always told him how strong he was. She'd be so disappointed. Jack gulped and rubbed at his good eye, furious that he had let them down.

"Time to go," Dan said, turning on the light. Jack jerked upright. He got his sneakers on as Randy came out of his room. The three of them silently got into Randy's car as Jack tried hard not to be sick.

"Once the code works, you're outside watching for cops," Randy muttered to him. 

"Yeah, I know," said Jack. He'd thought about giving them the wrong code, but decided that was a bad idea. They’d know it right away, and then he’d be in for it. Plan B was all he could hope for. They parked a few houses down, outside of a house with no outdoor lights on. Randy reached under his seat and handed Dan a small package. Dan unwrapped it, and Jack's mouth went dry as he saw light reflect off of a gun. He didn't dare say anything, and quietly got out and followed them swiftly to Joe's house, his mind racing. The lights were out. They pulled on their stocking face masks, and Jack led them to the back door. He watched Randy pick the lock, go in, and enter the code into the system. He turned to Jack, giving him a thumbs up, and pointed outside for Jack to keep watch as he and Dan moved inside.

Jack watched them go in and walked calmly to the end of the short driveway. He glanced back. No sounds. And then he ran.

He ran as fast as he had ever run, finally diving behind a garage, pulling off his mask and dialing 911. He whispered the address, heard the operator confirm it, and hung up. And he ran. He ran until he couldn't feel his legs, or his lungs, or much of anything. He kept going, churning his legs, hoping he was still moving. He sweated through his shirt and felt his hair sticking to his forehead as he ran. He pounded the sidewalks and then the side of the road, hearing a siren in the distance. He dove into the tall grass in the ditch as cars came along, heaving for air until they were gone, and he was up again, running, running, running.

He fled down the road at the trailer park, tripping in a pothole and flying to the ground. He grunted as he slammed into the dirt, but got up and kept running. He reached the woods and the branches slapped against his face, even with his arm up. At last he reached Race's spot and threw himself down on his back, gasping, his face gaping wide as he tried to breathe.

He gave himself as much oxygen as he could, feeling dry and sandpapery as he reached for air again and again. Finally he had the energy to turn on his side and open his eyes. At worst, he’d have to run away. That was okay. Race would be here as soon as he texted him to bring him supplies. But he couldn’t stay here with Dan, not anymore, and he sure as fuck wasn’t going to juvie.

He heard the sound of a few cars coming into the park, although he couldn’t see where they were going. That wasn’t good if it had to do with Dan. Only Randy’s car should be coming back. Jack struggled to sit up, but forced himself up anyway and tried to peer through the dark. He wanted a beer but didn’t dare crack open a can. At least if someone heard him breathing they might think it was an animal. A severely wounded animal, but an animal. No animal would be out here drinking a beer. Or were there animals that drank beer? Raccoons? Shut up, Kelly. You ain’t got enough oxygen in your brain yet.

He heard the sound of footsteps in the woods, coming close. “Jack?” Race whispered. “Jack, you there?”

“Yeah,” Jack whispered back, seeing Race’s form come out of the darkness. “What’s going on?”

Race came and crouched by Jack. “You okay?”

“I feel great. I ran all the way here, Racer. I feel like I got run over by a truck. What’s going on?” Jack’s voice sounded hoarse.

“The cops,” Race started. “The cops are here. Jessica’s here. They’re looking for you. Jack, you gotta come.” He reached for Jack’s arm. “You gotta come, Jacky.”

Jack jerked back. “You outta your fucking mind? Get me some stuff so’s I can run, jackass.”

Race knelt down. “Jack, I mean it. I ain’t kidding. They ain’t here to arrest you. Randy...” He stopped.

“What about Randy? Where’s my dad?” Jack asked. “What, Racer.”

“Just come on.”

“No. Fuck you. What about my dad?” Jack’s breath came in fast again.

“Jacky,” Race said softly, “Randy got shot. Cop shot him. He’s dead. Your dad got shot too.”

“He dead too?” Jack asked, his voice cracking. Jessica was here? She wouldn’t let them arrest him, would she? She’d stick him in some shithole, but not jail, right? Race held out his hand to Jack and pulled him up. He slung his arm around Jack’s neck and squeezed.

“I dunno, Jack. They wouldn’t tell me. Just come on, wouldja?” Race gave Jack half a smile, and together they headed out of the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes? No? I’m not a criminal mastermind.


	16. Catharsis

Jack sat in the couch, staring down at his hands as Esther sat next to him. What was he even doing here. They’d hate him. He was used to that most places, but these were two people in the world that he didn’t want hating him. He nudged his duffel bag with his foot. Stupid Mayer had to be there, watching him from the other couch. He glanced at Mayer’s hands. They were still.

“Jack, baby,” said Esther, “can you look at me please?”

He could. He could do that for her. He met her eyes for a second and then looked back down at his hands. 

“You were brave just now, telling the police what happened. You’re not in trouble.” Esther paused. “Do you know what coercion means?” Jack gave a stiff nod. It meant he’d been a wuss. He wasn’t brave like Esther said he was. And now she knew everything. Stupid Mayer had told her everything.

Mayer’s phone buzzed. Jack stayed silent as he listened to his end of the conversation. His dad. Stable. So he’d be back? Dan would go to jail again and get him back afterwards? Jack clenched his teeth.

Mayer hung up and looked at Jack. “Your dad is stable, they said. But Jack, he’s going back to prison for this for sure.” Jack gave another stiff nod. Shit, here came the tears. Now they’d really hate him, crying like this. Jack sniffed hard and rubbed at his good eye. It was so embarrassing, Esther seeing him with his face bashed in. Like the first day he was here, except now he knew Esther gave a fuck.

“Jack, honey,” said Esther, reaching for his hand.

Jack shook his head. He put the heels of his sneakers on the edge of the couch, pulling his knees up in front of his face and wrapping his arms around his shins. He rested his forehead on his knees so they wouldn’t see the tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Esther tried again. “I’m so sorry about all of this.” Jack buried his head deeper. He couldn’t stop the tears now, choking as they came faster and faster. God, he was such a mess.

“Please don’t make me go back,” he said finally, sniffling again. What a baby he was. Fuck. “Just send me somewhere else.”

“Go back?” said Meyer. “To where?”

“My dad. When he gets out.” 

“Jack, I can promise you, after tonight, you are never going back to him.” Mayer sounded perplexed.

“I got sent back last time. You’re the one who told me give him a chance,” said Jack bitterly, still hiding his face.

Mayer exhaled. “That’s true. And I’m sorry. Things are different now, though. I don’t see him ever getting you back. Not to mention, by the time he gets out of prison, you will be an adult. You’ll be making your own choices by then.”

Jack was quiet as he thought that one through. The tears slowed. He didn’t dare ask where he was going. He didn’t want to hear the answer if it meant he was going somewhere else. If they were sending him away, he’d know soon enough. Maybe he could just pretend he’d be staying here forever. He sank into that version of pretend, with Esther smiling at him and Mayer asking if he wanted more pancakes. If he stayed here forever, he’d sleep in his bed the way Esther wanted. Esther, who thought he was brave, and strong. The tears started up again. No way they’d let him stay here. Not now that they knew how bad he really was. Maybe he should just run anyway. Race would help.

“Jack,” said Esther, “I want you to know that I’m glad you’re back with us. I’m so sorry about everything, but I want you to know that you’re safe here. And we want you here.”

He had to tell her. He wasn’t who she thought he was. “No, you don’t,” he whispered. “You don’t want me.”

“I think I know how much I care about you, Jack,” said Esther. “You are safe and wanted here.”

Jack kept his head down. This was bullshit. She sounded like a training video they probably made all foster parents watch. “No. I’m not what you want.”

“And why not?” Esther asked.

Jack swallowed. They were gonna send him away anyway. Maybe he’d run anyway. Fuck them both. “You said I was brave. You said I was strong before.”

“Yes?” said Esther, puzzled. “I believe that with my whole heart, Jack.”

Jack looked up angrily. Fuck if she wasn’t as stupid as Mayer. Mayer sitting there, not saying anything. Fuck them both to everlasting hell. Fuck his dad. Fuck fucking Randy. Fuck Joe. Fuck his whole stupid life.

“Look at me!” he shouted, putting his feet back down, pointing at his face. He stood up and faced them as he tore off his T-shirt. “Look at me! I’m not strong, or brave. I was fucking ‘coerced,’ which means I’m a wimp, right? Look what I let him do!” He pointed at himself, furious that now they both saw what Dan had done. “I was fine, until you made me go back! You don’t want me! Why would I think I’m safe here? You’re the ones who fucking made me go back to Dan!”

He threw his shirt on the floor and turned wildly around the room. He grabbed the bookcase and yanked it down, the wooden shelves splintering and books flying everywhere. Mayer was coming towards him, arms out. Fuck, he was in for it now. Jack swung his fists at Mayer, landing punches as Mayer pinned him down on the floor. Jack yelled and struggled, but Mayer had his full weight on his chest.

“Stop! Jack, stop!” Mayer yelled, panting. “Stop!” Jack let out a wild yell, his hate and anger and fear not knowing any words, but coming out anyway. Mayer stayed on top of him, letting him yell, and he yelled until he couldn’t yell any more.


	17. Aftermath

Jack panted, black dots floating in front of his eyes, his throat dry from yelling. His entire body was limp and exhausted. He willed himself to keep his eyes open. Mayer was quietly draped over him, but felt as limp as Jack did. Jack flopped his head toward the couch, surprised to see Esther on the floor with him, lying on her stomach, resting her head on her arms, watching him. He stared at her blankly, too tired to care what happened to him now.

“You can get up, Mayer,” said Esther, keeping her eyes on Jack’s face. “I think we’re ready for that.”

“Can I get up, Jack?” Mayer asked, his voice raspy.

“Yeah,” Jack managed to say. 

Mayer lifted himself off of Jack and sat next to him, his knees by Jack’s head. Jack stayed on his back, still looking at Esther, catching his breath. He didn’t think he had any more tears, but his eyes watered again. Mama, he thought. He mouthed the word at her, not quite daring to voice it, not wanting Mayer to see just yet, and she nodded. She mouthed it back to him and reached for his face. He closed his good eye as she stroked his sweaty forehead.

He felt a tear escape, and let out a small breath as Esther wiped it off. “Can I stay?” he whispered. “Can I stay, Mama?” He kept his eyes closed in case she said no.

“Yes, baby, you can stay,” she whispered back.

And the flood came rushing down his face. “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I’m sorry.” He was too tired to move, even as tears dripped over his face as he kept his face turned towards her. She reached for a tissue from the coffee table and wiped his face.

He could stay. Stay. Here. Even after all they knew about him, and what he had just done. Jessica would probably move him anyway just because, but for now, he could stay. He forced himself to turn his head away from Esther and look up at Mayer, whose lined face was more deeply etched than usual. Jack wasn’t even sure what to say to him or what Mayer would do to him. 

Mayer looked down at Jack for a long while. “I love you, Jack.” Jack shook his head, looking away again. “Yes, do you hear me?” Jack squeezed his eye shut and shook his head again. “You can break all my bookshelves, and I’ll still love you.”

Jack found the energy to answer. “You’re a stupid fuck, then, Mayer.”

“So be it.”

“Mayer?” Jack asked.

“Yes, Jack.” Mayer put his hand on Jack’s shoulder, his tired eyes meeting Jack’s tired eyes.

“Can we have pancakes for breakfast?”

Mayer leaned back to look at the clock on the side table. “It’s about time for breakfast, isn’t it. No other creature on earth but a teenage boy would have a night like yours and then ask for pancakes.”

“Can we? I don’t work today.”

Mayer groaned as he rolled onto his knees and stood up. “Yes, kiddo, we can have pancakes. Give me a minute, all right? Coffee first.”

Jack rolled his head back to look at Esther. “I’ll sleep in the bed tonight,” he said. 

“I’m sleeping in my bed right after pancakes,” said Esther. She slowly sat up, stretching her back and twisting a little.

“Mama?” Jack asked. He couldn’t help but grin a little when she turned to him and smiled when he said that. “Nothing. Just seeing if you meant it, me calling you that.”

“Yes, Jack, I meant it.” She bent down and kissed Jack’s forehead. 

“Even if I get moved?”

Esther cupped his face. “Yes. But I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you. You hear me?” Jack nodded. He would not cry anymore. Freaking fire hydrant. “Good. I’m going to get a shower, all right?” He nodded again.

Jack stayed on the floor, listening to Mayer make coffee. He rolled to his side, suddenly remembering he didn’t have his shirt on. He reached around for it, wincing as he put it on, and cringing at the damage he had done to the bookshelf and their books. He ran his wrist under his nose and started picking up the books.

Mayer’s voice came from the kitchen. “Pancakes, Jack. The books can wait. Pancakes first. Come keep me company.”

Jack slowly walked over to the kitchen, keeping his distance from Mayer. Mayer glanced up from the bowl where he was making the batter.

“Want to learn how?” Mayer asked. Jack nodded. “Get the eggs and milk out, would you please?” Jack moved to the fridge and got the eggs and milk out. “Right there,” Mayer said, pointing at the counter with his chin. Jack put them down and backed up a step.

Mayer put the ingredients together without saying anything more. He got out the whisk and held it out to Jack. “You want to mix it all up?” Jack hesitated before reaching out and taking the whisk.

Mayer put the bowl closer to Jack. “Have at it,” he said. Jack waited until Mayer had moved to the stove to get the pan ready before he started mixing. It wasn’t bad, this mixing. He’d rather do this than commit armed robbery. And get people shot. And have people die because of him.

Mayer came back over and looked approvingly in the bowl, and then up at Jack’s serious face. “It’s gonna be okay, Jack,” he said. “Sometimes things are a big mess,” he said, picking up the bowl. “But sometimes something good can come of it. Come watch how to flip the pancakes.”

Jack came and stood by Mayer, leaning his forehead against the microwave over the stove. “Is it okay if I still just call you Mayer?” he asked softly.

“I’d rather that than Stupid Fuck,” said Mayer, smiling at him.

“I’m sorry,” said Jack.

“Of course you can just call me Mayer. I’ll love you just the same.” Mayer toyed with the edge of the first pancake. “Watch how to flip it. You can do the next one.” He flipped the pancake and raised his eyebrows at Jack. “Huh?! How about that? Pretty good, right?”

Jack smiled at Mayer. Just a little.


	18. Trust

Jack snuck into the kitchen, hoping Mayer and Esther still liked Oreos as much as they had the first time he was here. Oh, they did. He tried not to crinkle the packaging too much as he took all of them, except the last two, and put them on a plate. He’d never finish the package, not ever, no matter what they said. He poured himself a big glass of milk and turned to lean against the counter. He dipped the first Oreo into the milk and took his time shaking off the excess milk and getting his mouth under the Oreo to catch the drips. My God, was there anything better, he wondered.

He reached for another Oreo and froze. Someone else was up. He knew, really knew, he had nothing to be afraid of, but he stood in front of his plate of cookies as he listened hard. Esther, he could tell by the sound of her slippers. He breathed a sigh of relief as she appeared in the kitchen.

“Everything all right, Jack?” she asked, pulling her robe around her. “I thought I heard you out here.”

“Yeah, fine,” he said. “I just got hungry. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“What’re we having?” she asked. “Just milk?” Jack moved aside so she could see his Oreos. “Aha. That’s what I thought. Did you leave two in the package?”

Jack looked at her guiltily. “You can have these,” he said, holding out his plate. “I’m done.”

“You are not. Jack, you can finish the package. Just let us know so that we know to get more the next time we go to the store,” she said, getting out some cereal. “We won’t be angry, I promise.”

“I know.” He dipped another Oreo in his milk. But they might be. 

“Jack,” Esther started, sitting at the little table with her cereal, “Mayer will never hurt you, you know that, right?”

Jack took another Oreo. “Yeah.” But he might. He never had, not yet. But he might. “Hey, I’m full. I’ll just put these back, then. Mayer can have them tomorrow.” He put the rest of his Oreos back in the package. “I’m going back to bed. I got work in a few hours.”

“Okay,” she said. “But Mr. Kloppman said you can take the rest of the week off. There’s no rush, he said.”

“I like work,” said Jack. It would keep his mind off of things. It would wear him out. He wondered what Randy looked like after he got shot. Did his dad bleed on the sidewalk? Or the street? How long would he be in prison for this time? Did he know where Jack was? When, exactly, would he be locked up again?

“Okay. I’ll drive you over. I don’t have lessons until later, so come get me when you’re ready. And no,” she said, holding up her hand, “you are not walking down that road. It’s dangerous. And I washed your things. They’re in the basket on the dryer. Your Kloppman’s shirt is in there, I think. Or one of them is, at least.”

“Thanks, Mama,” he said, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. “I’ll be up in three hours.”

Jack went back to his room and quietly shut the door. He sat on his bed, picking at the plaid pajama pants that had still been in his dresser. They hadn’t had another kid with them, so everything was just as he had left it. They definitely hadn’t rented it out, even with it empty, he thought bitterly. How much does a person bleed when they’re shot? Did his dad know he was the one who called the cops? He flopped back onto his pillow and stared up at the ceiling, probing at his bruised face.

Jack was thankful Esther didn’t bombard him with questions when she picked him up from work. A ninety-five degree day was no joke, but this time he’d had more than his stupid peanut butter or mustard or ketchup or whatever-crap-was-available sandwich for lunch. Mayer had made sure of that.

He sat back and smiled when Esther cranked up the air conditioning. It didn’t work that great, but it felt perfect right now. 

“You’re taking a shower when you get home, young man,” said Esther. “You stink.”

He nodded. “With ice cubes, please.” 

They pulled into the driveway and Jack headed for the shower, not even shouting hi back to Mayer as he got inside. He could hear them talking in the kitchen as he undressed and showered. Pulling on clean clothes from the basket, he went to the kitchen.

“A new man,” Esther declared, coming over and putting her hands gently on his cheeks. “How much do you have saved up, baby?”

Mayer let out a strangled sound. “Es...”

Esther snapped her mouth shut and winced at Jack. “I’m sorry, baby. I wasn’t thinking. Just trying to make conversation.”

Jack tugged at his shirt. He half smiled at her. “‘S okay. Um, I can help pay for stuff around here. I don’t mind. I mean, I am working, so...”

“Jack,” Esther said, her face awash in guilt, “no. That’s not at all what I meant. I thought maybe you had your eye on something special, that’s all.”

“Oh,” mumbled Jack. “No, um, not really. I guess rent was as special as it got.” An awkward silence ensued.

Mayer cleared his throat. “Well, listen, as long as we’re talking about your job, I talked with the school today. Um, Jack, you didn’t make too many appearances towards the end of the year, it looks like. You’re supposed to be in summer school for a couple of classes? English and government?”

Jack watched Mayer’s hands. “Yeah, I guess. I mean, I wasn’t goofing around. I was working most of the time. Kloppman didn’t really know when school let out, so...” he faltered. “The electric didn’t always... my homework...”

“Summer school started last week, Jack. They said with our help they’d let you jump in and get caught up.” Mayer started getting the plates out for dinner. “You’re going to have to cut back on work so you can do this. I’ve got evening classes this summer, so if you want you can work weekends, go to class in the mornings, and do summer school with me in the afternoons before my classes.”

Jack nodded, not meeting Mayer’s eyes. He thought back to sitting on the couch with all of his books around him, kidding no one. He’d never pass these classes. But if he could be more like Mayer, Mayer would probably want him to stay more. Jack had tried before and kind of done it, but only for a week. Shit, he was sweating again. He wiped at his forehead and tried to smile at Esther. Dan punched him in his face. Fucking called the cops, you little bastard. Fucking got me shot.

“You bet, Mayer,” he said, full voice. “You got it. You and me.” He’d fail, and then Mayer would finally lose it. But Esther said he could stay. He’d do anything to stay. He’d be fucking Einstein. His back hit the ground as it started to rain, and Dan handed Wendy a beer. Stay out, you stupid fuck. Jack leaned against the tree trunk and twisted open the vodka, the rain dripping off of it onto his wet jeans.

Jack wiped his forehead again. “What’s for dinner? Smells great.” 


	19. In Which We Love Mayer

“But why,” whined Jack. “Why does everything have to mean something? Why can’t they just say what they mean? Some stupid tree is telling the same story as the story? That’s so stupid. It’s like telling the same story twice.” Jack swore if he had to figure out what the fucking grass and bushes symbolized he would burn the house down.

Mayer sighed. “Work with me here, Jack. One more sentence and then we can take a break,” he begged.

Jack glared at him. “Fine. The tree lost its leaves when what’s her name was going through some shit with her friends. How’s that?”

“Good enough.” Mayer sat back. Jack threw down his pencil on his desk and sat back too. The squeaking of a beginner violin student in the living room filled the space as they both took a moment to regain some sanity.

“Mayer?” Jack asked after a minute.

“Yes, Jack,” said Mayer wearily.

“Does my dad know I’m the one who called the cops?” Jack fiddled with his pencil, tapping it against the desk. Mayer looked at it pointedly. Jack stopped.

“I’m not sure,” said Mayer. “Probably? I can ask if you want me to.”

Jack shrugged. “Just wondering.”

“Did you want to see him, Jack? You don’t have to. Or you can wait until he’s been moved to the prison.”

Jack rolled the pencil between his thumb and middle finger. He kind of did, just to make sure Dan was alive, for real, and that he hadn’t killed his dad. He knew Dan wasn’t dead, but seeing him would make sure of that. But Dan definitely wouldn’t want to see him. Jack wasn’t sure what Dan would say to him, but it wouldn’t be anything nice, he knew that much. Still, Jack held onto his secret fantasy that his dad would apologize for everything, just once. Maybe, maybe if he was sober and in prison again, he’d see everything he’d done wrong, and tell Jack he was sorry.

“Jack?”

Jack wiggled his pencil in the middle like a seesaw. “Do you think, maybe, once he’s better, we could see him? Just once?” He saw the concerned look on Mayer’s face. “I know he’s not getting out for a while. I just... Maybe he’d...”

Mayer waited.

”Maybe he’d say sorry or something stupid, I dunno,” Jack finished fast. “Probably not. It’s a dumb idea. Just forget it.” He picked up his book and thumbed the pages. “Should we finish this?”

“He might say that,” said Mayer. “But he might not, you know. He might be angry for a long time. You might not hear what you want to hear. What you deserve to hear, actually.” He moved his chair closer to Jack and put his hand on Jack’s knee. “But I’ll go with you to see him anytime you want.”

Jack looked at Mayer’s hand on his knee. It was calm and warm. “I didn’t want him to get shot. I kinda wanted him to get stuff cuz Pulitzer’s an asshole. I didn’t know Randy was gonna give him a gun.” He’d already told the cops about Randy in front of Mayer and Esther, but it felt different telling just Mayer. “I guess I thought maybe if he stole enough stuff, he wouldn’t be... he wouldn’t, you know...”

Jack cleared his throat. “I stole a bunch of stuff from you and Esther when I went back. I took all kinds of stuff and I wasn’t sorry. I just thought you should know. But I’d never use a gun with you.” He kept watching Mayer’s hand.

Mayer closed his eyes. This boy. “Jack, we know you stole from us, and we know why. We know even better now.” The squeaky violin sounds continued. “I can’t imagine you ever using a gun like that.”

“I got drunk a lot, at Dan’s,” said Jack. “I stole from you, and I got drunk. I stole booze from Dan. And I stole from Joe Pulitzer. Nothing big, just snacks and stuff,” he added quickly as Mayer’s eyebrows went up. “I figured he owed me.”

“Anything else?” Mayer asked, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. “Did you jaywalk? Pull up an old lady’s flower garden? Push Romeo into a mud puddle?” Jack shook his head uncertainly. “Listen to me. That’s over. Done. You’re back with us, and you’re safe. Please don’t drink. Please don’t steal. Just talk to us. Okay? Deal?”

Mayer held out his hand. Jack shook it, still looking at him warily. “Deal.” Jack did not mean it, not one bit. He’d try, but he knew he’d drink for sure once things went bad again.

“You’re gonna have to do more than that to scare me, Jack,” said Mayer, standing up and stretching. “I got thirty-two freshman to face this evening. I am a man of steel.”


	20. Time to Breathe

Mayer leaned over towards the passenger window as Race leaned down. “Ready?” Mayer asked.

“Yeah,” said Race, shifting the backpack on his shoulder. “Um, is it okay if Romeo comes? His mom picked up another shift and she asked if I’d watch him.”

Mayer glanced at the back door of his car opening and Romeo clambering in. “Sure. Hop in, guys.”

Race opened his door with a smile of relief. “Thanks. Romeo, be good, right? This is Mayer.”

“I know you,” said Romeo. “You were here the night Dan hit Jack before he left. Well, one of the nights. Did Jack really get shot?”

Mayer looked in his rear view mirror. “Buckle up, please. And no, Jack did not get shot. He’s fine.”

“Are we having hamburgers? Can I have ketchup on mine?” Romeo asked, buckling his seat belt. “Can I have two? What kind of soda do you have? Why didn’t Jack come with you?”

Race twisted around. “Romeo, shut it. Jeez. Sorry, Mayer,” he said, turning back around.

Mayer smiled at him. “No worries, Racetrack. He’s fine.” He glanced back at Romeo again. “Yes. Yes. Yes. Root beer and ginger ale. Because he wanted to help Esther get the grill going.” Romeo furrowed his brow, obviously trying to remember his questions.

Mayer looked at the backpack Race had stuck between his legs. “What’ve you got there? Is that Jack’s? I thought they locked up...”

Race looked out the car window.

“Oh,” said Mayer. “Well, thank you.”

“He told me about summer school, so I thought, you know, he’d need it or something,” said Race.

“Jack’s going to school in the summer?” Romeo jumped in. “He must really like school.”

“He does,” said Mayer. “He loves it.”

Jack grinned as Esther brought more of the food outside. “Thanks for not making me go get Race,” he said. “It’s kind of weird, going back there, right?”

“It’s fine,” said Esther. “They’ll be here any minute.” She paused on her way back in to put her arm around Jack. “This was a good idea. Race has been a good friend, hasn’t he.”

Jack knew he didn’t want Esther to think otherwise, or know all the details of just how good a friend he had been, but he didn’t know how much Esther already knew, so he just rested his cheek on top of her head. “Yeah.” He poked at the coals in the grill. “Mama?”

“Yes, my darling,” she said.

“Can I just call you Esther while he’s here? I don’t need him giving me a hard time.” He poked the coals again.

“Of course. Wild animals couldn’t drag that secret out of me.”

Jack pressed his cheek harder against the top of her head. “Thanks.” He lifted his head at the sound of a car door slamming. “They’re here!” He grinned at her, feeling his face relax as he faced the back door. 

“Jack!” shouted Romeo, barreling around the side of the house. Jack shot Esther a confused look, but didn’t have time to say anything before a blur of boy leapt onto him. Jack staggered away from the grill, grabbing onto Romeo, barely missing putting his hand into the potato salad.

“Romeo! What’re you doing here?” Jack looked up at Race, who had unsuccessfully kept Romeo from surging ahead of him from the car. 

“Babysitting,” Race said. “Sorry.”

Jack nodded and put Romeo down. “Good. We needed a cook. Get to work, Romeo,” he said, handing him the spatula and pointing at the plate of burgers waiting to be put on the grill. Romeo grabbed the spatula and eyed the grill with a gleam in his eye. “Kidding, Romeo, kidding,” said Jack, taking the spatula away.

“Is this where you live now? Is Dan dead? Did you shoot him, Jack? I would. He was mean. Hey, brownies!” cried Romeo, kneeling on the picnic table bench and leaning over the plates.

“I’m Esther,” said Esther, sitting near Romeo. “You must be Romeo.” Romeo nodded, still looking over the food on the table. “Come help me in the kitchen.” She held out her hand and gave Jack a look to let him know she would address Romeo’s questions inside. Romeo grabbed her hand and bounced inside with her.

Jack turned to Race and pushed at his face. “Why do you always fuck everything up,” he said, grinning.

“Fu... Shut up,” said Race, watching Mayer come out the back door. “I wasn’t even sure it was you back here. You don’t look like sh... as bad as you usually do.” He pointed at Jack’s new sneakers. “Nice.”

“Yeah,” said Jack, grinning at Mayer. “Even Mayer knew duct tape was out of style.”

“I am aware of all the latest fashion trends, I’ll have you know,” said Mayer. “Esther said so.” He took the spatula from Jack and pointed it at them. “Okay, fellas, how many do you want?”

“All of them,” they answered together. 

Mayer made a show of putting on his apron. “Out of my way, boys. I need space to work.” He smiled at Jack. “Race brought your backpack. Why don’t you show Romeo your room and get all that stuff put away.”

Jack and Race clomped inside, where Romeo insisted on a piggy back ride to Jack’s room. “This is big, Jack!” He sat down at Jack’s desk and grabbed a pencil. “Is this where you do your homework?” He opened the drawers and started going through Jack’s pens and notebooks.

Jack shrugged and leaned into Race’s ear. “You bring me my teddy bear?”

“Yes, I brought your fucking teddy bear,” said Race. “You owe me twenty bucks.” Jack pulled out his wallet and handed Race a twenty.

“Esther said she was your mom for now,” said Romeo, sliding the drawers shut. “Are you gonna get another one?”

Jack felt his stomach churn a little. “Dunno. Maybe.”

“You could share my mom,” said Romeo. “She’s nice. We could get bunk beds.”

Jack tossed his backpack into the corner. His hands felt cold and sweaty all of a sudden. “Yeah. Maybe.” He ran his fingers through his hair and moved toward the door. “Let’s see if Esther needs any help. She said we could play bocce, whatever the fuck that is.”

“Bocce?” said Race. “Isn’t that for, like, ancient people?”

Jack grabbed Race’s T-shirt and shoved him up against the wall, grinning. “If Esther wants to play fucking bocce, we’re gonna play fucking bocce, got it? Best game in the world.”

“Boys?!” Esther called. “I got the bocce set out!”

“Thank you!” Jack shouted, still holding Race up against the wall. “We’re coming!” He gave Race a little shove.

“Thank you!” shouted Race. “I can’t wait to kick...” Jack shoved him again. “I can’t wait to beat Jack by a lot of points!”

“Now you got it,” said Jack, letting Race go. “Come on, Romeo. We gotta make sure he don’t cheat.”

Romeo nodded and hopped down from Jack’s chair. “Okay. But I’m hungry. Let’s go eat. Esther said I could have some watermelon if the burgers weren’t done yet.” He trotted down the hallway toward the kitchen. Jack slung his arm around Race’s neck as they followed.


	21. He’s a Jerk. He’s a Rattlesnake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry.

Kath slouched back into the couch, eating her popcorn alone. She didn’t like being home alone anymore, not even with the codes changed. Not even knowing it had been Jack who had let his dad in with his creepy and now dead accomplice. Jack was still out there. Would he try to break in? And what, call the cops on himself? How do you let your dad make you break into someone’s house, she wondered. Coercion... sounded like one of those mob movies with hats and machine guns. Jack’s life was so much more interesting than hers. 

The shouting and sharp cracks of the guns had woken her up that night. A cop had come in to keep her away from the scene, at her father’s request. The radios crackled and ambulances screamed coming down the street, but stopped a few doors away where the bodies were. Body, she reminded herself. 

She jumped as she heard the back door open. 

“It’s me,” Joe called. “I’m home.”

“Okay,” she called back.

Joe came into the den. “Pink?” he questioned, eyeing her hair. “Tired of purple?” She nodded and offered him her popcorn bowl. “What’re you watching?”

“Carousel,” she said, knowing full well her dad could recognize any musical. 

“Hm,” he grunted. “You watched that one with Jack, didn’t you. The last time he was here. When he lied.”

“Mm-hmm,” she said, watching the screen.

“Honey, I know you’re scared being at home by yourself these days. I’m doing everything I can to get him arrested and sent to the juvenile correctional center. He had no right to do what he did, especially to you.” Joe took a handful of popcorn. “I can’t get anyone to agree with me just yet, but I’ll get there.”

Kath looked up in shock. “Dad, no! They said he was coerced! He’s the one who called the cops! I’ll be fine, I promise. Look, he even texted me, saying he was sorry.” She scrolled through her phone to find Jack’s text, and held it up for Joe to see.

“A text? That’s all you get? He owes you, and me, a lot more than that,” said Joe, not looking at the phone. “He stole from us, he lied to us, he broke into our house, even after everything I did for him. Come on, Katherine.”

“What do you mean, he stole? His dad took stuff, not Jack.” Kath gave her dad a puzzled look.

“Food, Thaky. He stole a bunch of food the very first time he was here. He knew my story about the cleaning service was bogus. That was me telling him I was on to him. He knew that. Didn’t you know that?”

Kath stood up. “And doesn’t it make sense why he stole, now? I don’t blame him if that’s what he did. You’re the one who laid off his dad.”

“So he should just get away with everything? Dan should rob me because he got laid off? This conversation is getting silly.” Joe toyed with Kath’s pink hair. “Jack needs a reality check before he gets any older.”

“No! Dad! He’s fine. He’s happy with Mayer and Esther. He’s not going to cause any more trouble, he promised!” Kath cried angrily. 

“Mayer... Mayer..Jacobs? The English department lecturer? Is that who he’s staying with?” Joe asked.

“Yes, Dad. They’re his foster parents,” Kath answered, rolling her eyes. “I thought you knew that. You seem to know everything else.”

“You haven’t been there, have you? You haven’t actually spent time with him since the incident, have you?” Joe asked.

“I’m going over tomorrow,” she said, watching the screen again. Jack wouldn’t mind, would he? He had apologized, after all. She’d just say hi, just to piss off her dad.

“Kath, no. That boy is a manipulative criminal. You stay away from him, do you understand? I thought he could be redeemed, but sadly I was wrong.” Joe tapped her head. Kath ignored him. “Kath? Understand? I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Okay, Dad, yes, whatever,” she said. “I will obey your command.” She smiled as Joe sighed and left the den.

Jack threw Romeo in the back seat of Mayer’s car and turned to Race. “We need to start a school bocce team next year. We would totally dominate everyone.”

“Maybe we should play more than once before we plan total domination,” said Race. “Your aim sucks.”

“Shut up. Just trying to help you beef up your resume. McDonald’s will be impressed.” Jack said, handing him the package of leftover brownies. “Now get lost.”

Jack watched as they backed out of the driveway, and headed back into the kitchen to help Esther clean up.

“Did you have a good time, Jack?” Esther asked. “I think Racetrack and Romeo did.”

“Yeah,” said Jack, putting the container of potato salad in the fridge. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You seem a little serious all of a sudden.”

“I’m fine, Esther,” he said.

“Esther? They’re gone, sweet boy.” Esther came over and stood in front of him. “You’re sure everything is okay?”

Jack opened his mouth to speak when his phone buzzed. Kath was here, outside. He ran to the door and opened it, gesturing for her to come in.

Kath smiled as she came in the door and gave a little wave to Esther. “Hi. I’m Kath. Pulitzer.”

Esther came forward, drying her hands on a dish towel. “I’m Esther. I’m sorry about what you went through with this whole, um, situation.”

Jack shifted uncomfortably. “Kath, what’re you doing here?” he asked bluntly. “Pretty sure your dad doesn’t want you near me.”

”I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me,” said Esther. “Nice to meet you, Kath.”

“Nice to meet you, Esther,” said Kath. Jack motioned awkwardly to the couch, and they sat. “Jack, I know we texted some, but I just wanted to see you. I needed to hear it from you. How could you do that to me? I mean, what kind of coercion were you talking about? Why did you lie to me that night? I thought we were kind of friends again. I’ve defended you with my dad, but it’s hard, Jack.”

Jack fingered her pink hair. “They made me, is all. So yeah, I lied to you so I could get them what they wanted. I mean, my dad had kind of knocked me around before, a little, you know, like you saw, not too bad or anything, but this Randy guy, he, uh, he said he’d make it hard for me to walk if I didn’t do what they said. So I did it.”

Kath paused. “It scared me, that night.”

Jack twisted a little of her hair. “Uh huh.” Kath scowled. “I mean, yeah, I bet it was scary.” His head snapped up as he heard another car door slam. It was too soon for Mayer to be back. Jack got up and went to the door. Fuck. Without looking back, he went outside to meet Joe.

“Kath’s inside,” he said. “She’s okay. I didn’t know she was coming.” He put his hands in his back pockets.

Joe strode up to Jack and met his eyes. “Mayer Jacobs is your foster father?” Jack gave him an uncertain nod as Kath came out to join him. 

“Go home, Katherine,” Joe ordered. “You’ve made your point of willful disobedience tonight.”

Kath pulled Jack’s hand out of his pocket and intertwined her fingers with Jack’s. “Not yet. Why are you here, Dad? Jack’s not committing any crimes at the moment.”

“Very well,” said Joe. “Jack, I came by to talk to Mayer, actually.”

“He’s not here.” Jack’s voice came out all gravelly.

“Perhaps you can give him the message, then,” said Joe. “Enrollment looks like it will be down in the fall. He’ll likely get only half of the classes he is expecting to teach. I thought I’d come by and tell him in person. I’m sorry for the strain the loss of half of his job will put him under, Jack.”

Jack’s hands felt clammy as he absorbed what Joe was saying. He stayed still as Joe leaned into his ear. “I can fix it, though, if you turn yourself in to the police and confess your role in the burglary was bigger than you said.”

“Kath, you better go,” said Jack, freeing his hand from her grip, still watching Joe.

Joe smiled at Jack. “Time to take responsibility for your actions, Jack,” he said. Jack rolled his shoulder but didn’t reply as he watched Joe and Kath get into their cars and leave.

Jack went back inside and went to his room, closing the door quietly. Eternally fucked, that was him. Couldn’t even have a fucking cookout without being screwed. Esther wasn’t planning on keeping him after all, so he might as well go to the police if that would help Mayer. His mom “for now.” She’d said he could stay. She’d said he could stay. She’d said he could stay. His nose tingled as his lips trembled. For now. He’d held it together for the rest of the cookout, but he’d been so stupid, calling her Mama, like that was going to change anything. He closed his eyes, the humiliation filling him from the ground up. He’d let her know he loved her. Stupid. He was one stupid fuck. He’d never make that mistake again. Never. 

And if he did get to stay, Mayer would lose half of his job. Well, Jack knew exactly what happened when dads lost their jobs, didn’t he. Mayer wasn’t as big as Dan, but he could still hurt him. Lots of choices there, Jack knew. What if Mayer hurt Esther, too, he thought. Even if she didn’t want Jack forever, she had been really nice while he was here.

His heart pounded as he sat on the bed, his eyes still closed, jiggling his legs. His teddy bear. Idiotic code name, but whatever. Jack opened his eyes and leaned over to his backpack, opening it up and feeling inside for the smooth glass bottle. He drew it out, twisted it open, and drank.


	22. Timing Is Everything

Mayer jerked awake at the sound of the doorbell. He threw back the sheet and stumbled down the hall, rubbing his eyes as he turned on the light.

"Mayer?" Esther called sleepily.

The doorbell rang again just as Mayer opened the door. An officer stood at his door, holding a bedraggled Jack by the arm. "Mayer? Missing someone?"

"Mike..." said Mayer, opening the door wider so they could come in. "What's going on? Jack?"

Mike released Jack, who didn't move. "I could tell you I encountered a drunk teenager at the precinct who claimed total responsibility for the Pulitzer break in. Or I could tell you I encountered a teenager who broke curfew and needs to stay in bed."

Mayer grimaced. "Tell me you brought the second teenager here."

"I did."

"Thank you."

"This kid needs a break. But I can't keep doing this. Get him in line." Mike looked past Mayer. "We're okay, Esther. You have a good night. Mayer," he said, turning to go.

"You too. Thanks again." Mayer shut the door and looked at Jack, who gave him a sullen look. "Time for bed, Jack. We'll talk in the morning."

"But I did it. I did it all. They need to arrest me," said Jack. "So you can keep your job."

Mayer blinked. "Bed. Please. Now."

"Or what," said Jack, leaning in towards Mayer. "What're you gonna do, Jacobs. You know you want to. You've just been waiting. Joe's gonna cut your job unless I go to juvie. He cuts your job, I know what happens to me. And hey, I'm gonna fail summer school. That don't make you look good, Mr. College. Your fuckup foster kid, failing everything. Breaking curfew. You got lots of excuses now. You better listen to Mike. Get me in line." Mayer looked down the hall at Esther.

Jack poked Mayer in the chest. "Come on! What, are you scared? It's easy. You go like this," Jack took Mayer's hand and clumsily made it into a fist. "And go like this." He held Mayer's fist to his face. "All night. You do that all night, anywhere you want." Jack held his arms wide, facing Mayer. "What're you waiting for?! Come on! COME ON!" he raged.

Esther came and put her arm around Jack. "Bed, Jack. Let's get you to bed."

Jack shook her off. "Fucking coward!" he shouted at Mayer. "Fine! I'm leaving. You should too, _Esther_ , before Mayer loses half his job and starts in on you." Mayer and Esther exchanged confused looks. "You said I could stay, but I get it. It's 'for now.' _Esther_. You don't gotta tell me twice." Jack pushed past them and went to his room, where he grabbed his duffel and sat it on his bed, picking up clothes from the floor and shoving them in.

Esther came and sat next to Jack’s bag. "Is this about Romeo? I had to explain to him what foster care was, Jack. You know I want you to stay. But you also know I can't make any promises yet about that. We're trying really hard, though. We’ve told you everything and about the paperwork that needs to be in place. You know that, right?"

Jack picked up a sock. "Just forget it. I'm going. You don't gotta think about me ever again." He threw the sock in and looked at her, swaying a little. "Thanks for the cookout." He picked up the bag and tried to push past Mayer in the doorway. "Jacobs, move." Mayer didn't move. Jack shoved him. Mayer staggered back a little, but stayed in the doorway. 

"You gotta hit me now, Jacobs," said Jack, grinning a little. "Let's go. Let's see what you got." He ran his thumb under his nose and shoved Mayer again. Mayer still didn't move. "Let's GO, I said!" 

"Jack," said Esther, standing. "Stop." 

Jack turned. "Let me go!" he shouted. "What is it with you people?!"

"You're not going anywhere," said Esther firmly. "We love you too much to let you go. We will never let you go, Jack. Not ever. Not even if you get moved."

"I don't believe you," said Jack, hefting his bag. "Lemme go."

"Give me your bag," said Esther, holding out her hand. Jack's chest caved for a moment. He stood, looking back and forth between them, Mayer’s serious face and Esther’s firm one. He handed Esther the bag. "Sit on the bed." Jack gave Mayer one last check, but Mayer hadn't moved from the doorway. Jack sat on the bed.

"Now, time for bed. We will talk in the morning. I will be sitting outside your door, and Mayer will be sitting outside your window. Good night." Esther turned off the light, shooed Mayer out of her way, and shut the bedroom door.

Medda frowned at Mayer. "I've heard of academic misconduct, but that takes the cake," she said. "You might lose one class from what I can figure, and I am truly sorry about that, but there's no way you would lose half of them."

"He knew Jack wouldn't know anything about how course loads work, or how I would find out," said Mayer. "He just wanted to scare him, and boy, did it work." He rubbed his dry eyes, yearning for a nap before his class that evening.

"Not only that, but it doesn't make any sense. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but Pulitzer's making an announcement this week. He's leaving."

Mayer's mouth dropped open. "Already? He just got here! I mean, great, he's a jerk, but really?"

"Associate vice provost of academic affairs at Western Somewhere State, or something like that. Moving on up, you might say." Medda leaned back in her chair and laughed. Mayer had always loved her laugh, but he couldn't enjoy it now. "President Oakes said we'd be getting some of our custodians back, too. Turns out people don't like taking out their own garbage. Or won't, which is worse."

Mayer stared at her. "You can't be serious."

"No, really. Walter had a whole mold experiment going on in his trash can, I heard." Medda smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I mean that the custodians are being rehired."

Medda tilted her head a little. "I think that's good news, don't you?"

Esther woke up, feeling Jack's steady breathing under her arm. His shoulders were far broader than hers, making her feel something like a barnacle, but he hadn’t objected when she had laid down next to him after a while. He’d taken her hand in his and held it.

Slowly she brought her hand hand back and started to roll off the bed, trying not to make any sudden movements.

“Esther?” Jack mumbled.

“Yes, Jack,” she said.

“I fucked up again.”

“Yes. We’re going to have to talk about what you can do when you’re scared, Jack.” Esther sat on the edge of the bed as Jack turned his face up.

“I wasn’t scared.” Where did she get off, saying he was scared. He was never scared.

Esther was quiet. “Do you have any more alcohol?”

“In my backpack.” Well, fuck.

Esther leaned over and dug until she found the second bottle. “Tell Racetrack not to do that again, please.”

“Yes, ma’am, Mrs. Jacobs.”

Esther sighed. “I’m sorry Romeo repeated what I told him. I was speaking in generalities. If the paperwork goes right, and everything works out, Jack... Can I ask you a question?”

Jack nodded once.

“Would you maybe want to be adopted? By us?”

Jack didn’t answer. He hadn’t heard her clearly. He couldn’t ask her to repeat it. What if she hadn’t said what he thought she’d said? What would Dan say? Would it matter?

He tried to picture being adopted. You had to go to court for that, he knew that much. He’d live here, then, in this room. Would they let him be in the family pictures? His brain felt blurry. He hadn’t heard her right. He was still hungover.

Jack tried to fall back asleep so he could wake up properly. This was like one of those dreams that felt so real and then you woke up to realize things were better in the dream.

“Jack?” Esther asked. “What do you think?”

“About what,” he muttered.

“Adoption. If we could do it, would you want us to?” She wasn’t kidding. Jack turned onto his back and looked as intently as he could at her face, in his state.

“I gotta go to jail,” he said. “Mayer’s gonna lose his job.”

“No, you don’t. That is a lie,” said Esther. “Mayer is on campus right now getting it all worked out. And if he does lose his job, we will figure something out. So what do you think?”

“Does Mayer know you want to adopt me?”

“Yes, Jack. He knows. He wants to adopt you too.”

“The fuck he does. What’s this about?” Jack asked, pushing himself up and sitting against the headboard. His head throbbed. “He got cancer? You want someone around to help pay the bills? Do your yard work?”

“Jack...” Esther said, putting her hands out in front of her, palms up. 

“Can I think about it?” Jack asked. There was an angle he wasn’t seeing here. Dan would see it. He had to talk to Dan. Something suspicious was going on.

Esther got to her feet and left the room quickly, her hand going towards her eyes as she closed the door behind her.


	23. The Visit

Mayer glanced over at Jack as they merged onto the highway. “You can change your mind anytime you want, Jack.”

”Yeah, I know. I know Jessica doesn’t think this is a good idea, either. I heard Esther talking to her the other day,” said Jack. The landscape rushed by, melding one farm into another. “I just wanna see him.”

“Okay.”

They were quiet for miles and miles after that.

“Mayer?”

“Yes, Jack.”

“Do you think I did the right thing, calling the cops that night? On my dad, I mean?” Jack looked out the window, not really wanting to see Mayer’s reaction. 

“Absolutely. I know you don’t like being called brave, but there’s no other word for it. It was a tremendously brave thing to do.”

Jack looked briefly at Mayer’s profile as Mayer reached over and patted his leg. “He wasn’t always bad,” said Jack. 

“He couldn’t have been, to have a son like you,” said Mayer.

Jack felt the little wisp of hope in his heart grow a little stronger. Maybe Dan would see that Jack had done the right thing too. Maybe Dan would see that tiny ember at the back corner of Jack’s heart that still loved him.

Jack sat at the table, jiggling his leg. Mayer didn’t even tell him to stop. The pictures of waterfalls and flowers in the family room were oddly interspersed with warnings about contact with inmates. The searches and the questions had all made him nervous, like he was going to be arrested after all for giving Dan the codes to Pulitzer’s house. At long last, Dan was escorted out to the table, where he sat down without saying a word.

“Hi, Dan,” said Mayer. “Thanks for seeing us.”

Dan looked Mayer up and down, and still didn’t speak. He looked at Jack. “What.”

Jack thought he was going to throw up. Here he was, surrounded by guards and guns and an entire fucking prison, and he’d never been so scared of Dan in his life. Nervous. He was a little nervous. “Hi.”

Dan snorted. “You drove all this way to say hi. Figures. You had plenty to say to the cops, though, didn’t you.”

Jack bit the inside of his lip and looked at Mayer, who smiled at him encouragingly. He drew in a big breath through his nose and said what he had practiced saying a thousand times in the bathroom mirror. “Mayer and Esther want to adopt me.”

Dan gave Mayer a dark look.

“Your rights are being terminated, Dan. You know this,” said Mayer. “Jack would like your blessing. It would mean a great deal to him.”

“My blessing.” Dan focused on Jack again. “You want my blessing? Who the fuck talks like that?”

Jack’s hands trembled in his lap as he stared down at the tabletop. 

“Why? Why do you want my loser kid?” Dan asked Mayer. “Nothing but a drunk fuckup. He steals shit, just so you know. You picked a real winner there, Jacobs. Go ahead, take the whiny little bitch.”

Mayer stood. “We love Jack. We will give him a good home.” He put his hand on Jack’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I think it’s time for us to go.”

Jack stood up, watching his dad get up at the same time as a guard came over to escort him back to his cell. He looked for any movement from Dan showing he wanted a hug from Jack. Or a handshake. Or a goodbye. Or a smile. Dan didn’t look at him, or look back, as he was led away. Jack stayed rooted to the spot, watching Dan until he was out of sight entirely.

“Dad,” he whispered.

He felt Mayer’s arm around his shoulders as Mayer led him back out of the prison to the car. Jack got in, buckled up, put his heels on the seat and wrapped his arms around his legs as he put his head down. He heard Mayer get in and start the car without saying a word.

Several miles down the road, Jack turned his head and looked at Mayer.

“How come you want me and my dad doesn’t?” he asked.

Mayer focused on the road. “I can’t speak for your dad, Jack. He’s a troubled man, to be sure. I want you because somehow you’ve worked your way into my heart and I can’t let go. I don’t want to let go.”

Jack looked out the window for another mile. “I thought today... I thought today he’d say he wanted me.” 

Mayer pulled off the highway at the exit they were approaching and slowly turned into the parking lot of a gas station. He parked the car and shifted in his seat to face Jack. “I know.”

Jack faced Mayer, but didn’t look up. “Maybe if I hadn’t called the cops...”

“Jack,” said Mayer. “Look at me.” Jack obeyed. “You did the right thing. If you hadn’t called the cops when you did, you would have probably had to call them another time. You might have gotten hurt even worse. You did the right thing. And Dan, well, Dan is missing out on the greatest gift life ever gave him. But I’m not, got it? I’m not going to miss out on you.”

Jack nodded, his face miserable.

“I love you, Jack,” said Mayer, stroking Jack’s hair. “What do you say we go home to Esther? She’ll be almost done with lessons by the time we get there.”

“Okay.”

They drove in silence the rest of the way home. Mayer clicked on the remote to open the garage door and pulled in. 

Jack took a deep breath. “Mayer?”

“Yes, Jack.”

“I love you.”


	24. Pancakes and Dreams

Esther smiled at Jack as he came in from the garage. Her smiled faded as Jack came over for a hug, and her eyes questioned Mayer as he followed Jack inside. Mayer shook his head, and Esther held Jack closer.

“I’m sorry, baby,” she said. Jack didn’t reply, but stood rocking back and forth in her hug, his eyes closed.

”Do you love me, Mama,” he asked, his voice muted.

Esther squeezed her fingers into his back. “I love you, yes. I will always love you.”

“Good.” Jack stood still and buried his face in her hair as Mayer slumped onto the chair at the tiny kitchen table.

“I made pancake batter,” said Esther. “My last lesson cancelled and I thought you might want pancakes.” Jack lifted his face out of her hair and saw the bowl on the counter.

“I’ll make them,” he said. “Mayer’s tired.”

Esther held Jack’s face in her hands and saw the empty exhaustion in his eyes. “No, I want to make them. Just stay here...”

“And keep you company?” Jack finished for her. Esther smiled up at him and pointed him to the other kitchen chair. “I guess I’ll be better company than Mayer,” he said, watching Mayer’s eyes droop as he leaned his head into his hand.

Esther didn’t ask Jack any questions as she heated up the pan and watched the butter melt in it. She would wait, she told herself.

“Dan said I was a loser and a drunk fuckup and a whiny little bitch,” said Jack. “He told Mayer I steal shit, but you guys already know that.”

Esther winced. “What else did he say?” she asked.

“Not much,” Jack said dully. “I was kind of hoping he would want me, but he don’t. Guess you’re stuck with me, unless you’ve changed your mind.” Jack gave a half of a short laugh.

Esther ladled the first pancake into the pan and turned around to face Jack. “Well, we want to be stuck with you, how about that. Even worse, you are stuck with us. People who make pancakes at every turn. And who will make you listen to beginner violin students for hours on end. And who will willingly talk about literary symbolism. For fun, no less. Most people would run screaming from us. So let’s make a deal, okay?” 

She flipped the pancake and came over to Jack. She pulled Jack’s head towards her and smiled again as he leaned nearly off of his chair to wrap his arms around her waist. 

“What’s the deal?” he said, his voice muffled against her side.

“First, you are to ignore what Dan said to you today. Those are the words of a man who hates himself. Second, the inmates will run the asylum here. You, me, and Mayer. We’ll run it the way we want to, and we love you, and no one else’s opinion matters.” She leaned down to kiss the top of Jack’s head.

Mayer’s head slipped out of his hand and thumped on the table. He snorted awake, his eyes blinking wide. “Pancakes. Burning!”

“Oh!” cried Esther, pulling away out of Jack’s hold around her waist and rushing to the stove. Jack’s arms flapped in the air as he lost his balance and crashed to the floor. He burst out laughing, catching Mayer’s eye as Mayer started to laugh.

Esther flipped the burned pancake out of the pan and started again. “Honestly! Staying awake and in a chair is too much for you two, I see. It’s like living with the Marx brothers.” Jack gave Mayer a puzzled look as Mayer wiggled his eyebrows and an imaginary cigar.

“Who?” Jack asked, laughing despite himself.

“Oh my, Jack,” said Esther. “You’re in for a movie night tonight.”

Jack stretched out on his bed, the fan blowing over him just right. He was still laughing at the movies Mayer and Esther had made him watch. Stupid old, but really funny. He’d have to ask if Race could come over and see them. Romeo would probably giggle all night at them too. They’d say yes to that idea, Jack was pretty sure. After checking Race for booze, probably.

He felt all soft and warm, thinking about the evening. He’d barely thought about his visit with Dan, a world away. A world away forever, now. Well, fuck him. Jack had a new family now, one hundred percent, and Dan could suck it. Jack checked for the little ember he kept hidden from Mayer. It was still there, but it didn’t burn at him the way it had. It was smaller, too. Small enough to ignore now.

He rolled up in his sheet and rocked back and forth a little. So this was it. He was all in with Mayer and Esther. They’d been so patient, letting him see Dan one last time, just in case. He felt Mayer’s arm around him again, and Esther’s hug. He smiled to himself and closed his eyes. He’d be in one of those happy courtroom pictures soon. Esther said she’d put it on the wall in the kitchen, and Jack drifted to sleep, seeing himself sit at the little table with the picture hanging up nearby.

He walked with Mayer into the woods. It’s right over here, he said. Watch out the branches don’t hit your face. He approached the old fallen tree trunk, slowing as he saw someone there. Jack saw himself sitting against the log, the rain dripping off of the vodka bottle onto his wet jeans. His T-shirt was smudged with dirt and he didn’t wipe off the rain running down his face from his soaked hair. It was getting dark and a little cold. Jack tried to back up, scoping out the woods for another log, so Mayer wouldn’t see. It’s not this way. I think it’s over here. But Jack kept walking towards the same log, seeing himself, even when it was dark, and Jack was passed out on the ground, curled up by the trunk as it continued to rain, the empty bottle next to him. He tried to block Mayer again and again. Finally he turned around to get out of the woods, but the person following him wasn’t Mayer anymore. Dan was behind him, laughing. Look at you, he said. Drunk fuckup. Whiny little bitch. Jack pushed him back toward the edge of the woods. Dan kept laughing, shoving him back harder. Drunk fuckup. No, shouted Jack. Yes, Dan shouted, pushing him again.

The sun snapped on. “Jack?” Jack heard Mayer. “Jack, wake up.”

Jack squinted, not sure if he was asleep or awake, tangled in sweaty sheets.

“You were having a nightmare,” said Mayer, coming over to the bed. “I thought you’d want to wake up.”

“It’s fine,” said Jack. “I’m good.”

“You were arguing with someone, it sounded like,” said Mayer. “You want to talk about it?”

Jack stared sleepily at him. “You don’t wanna know.”

“Try me.”

Jack considered as he drew out of his haze. It was a dream. Mayer had never been to the woods. Dan definitely couldn’t be there. But Jack remembered being there. He remembered waking up cold and wet and hungover, shivering as he made his way back to Dan’s, hoping he could get in and change his clothes.

He looked up at Mayer. “I’m not a drunk fuckup anymore, right?”

Mayer’s eyes softened as he sat next to Jack. “I never thought that. But you’ve stopped drinking, haven’t you? I think you’ve been really good about talking to us lately when something’s bothering you, instead of drinking.”

Jack took in a breath. “It’s pretty pathetic.” He fiddled with the sheet. “Can I just show you instead? Can we go to Green Meadows?”

“It’s the middle of the night, Jack,” said Mayer.

“I know. That’s kind of the point, I guess.”

Mayer was quiet for a moment. “Okay. Let me get dressed.”

Mayer followed Jack into the woods in the moonlight, holding up his arm as Jack had warned him to do. He was deeply uneasy about this idea, trespassing in the middle of the night. This would not be a good look if they got caught. Mayer really hoped this wouldn’t take long, and was relieved that they hadn’t gone too far when Jack stopped by a fallen tree. 

“Here it is,” he said.

“Here's what,” said Mayer. Jack pulled out a battered backpack from a shallow hole and took out a beer can. “Oh, this is the place...” Where Jack went “camping,” as Romeo called it. As Jack called it.

Jack kicked at the leaves as he put the bag back. “So in my dream, I brought you here, but I was already here. It was the time before I went to your house that one night. Anyway, it was raining and I got drunk and passed out. I got so cold that night, jeez. In my dream, I didn’t want you to see me here like that, and then you turned into Dan and we started fighting and he called me a drunk fuckup.”

Mayer stood quietly, taking in the scene Jack was describing. Jack had been right to bring him here, to see it for himself. And then the guilt washed over him so powerfully he had to reach out to Jack to steady himself. Where had he been but home, probably sleeping, when Jack was here. 

“You okay, Mayer?” Jack asked. “You need to sit down?” He guided Mayer to the log and sat down with him.

“I am so sorry,” Mayer finally said, once his voice came back.

Jack let out a little laugh. “You’re the one that’s adopting me. No one else wants me. What are you sorry for?”

“That we didn’t act sooner. That we didn’t fight for you more.”

Jack fell silent at that. He scuffed at the ground again. “You didn’t know. I thought about you when I came here, though. I felt so bad about what a little prick I’d been with you.”

Mayer sat, stunned. “You thought about me here?” He saw Jack nod. “Oh, Jack. Thank you for showing me this place.”

Jack grunted, slapping at a mosquito as he stood up. “It’s a buggy shithole. Let’s get out of here.”

Mayer held up his hand for Jack to help him up. “Good idea.” He took a moment to look at the spot again, memorizing it. You will not forget this scene, he told himself. You will not. May it haunt you the rest of your life.


	25. Esther and Mayer Are Doing Their Best

Jack jostled in the back seat of Kloppman’s truck, grinning over at Race. “Ready for me to show you how it's done?”

“I worked the past two weeks, so I know how it's done, thanks. You just didn't get to see my spectacular work last weekend because you went off to see stupid Dan,” said Race. “I figured if Kloppman would hire a stupid fuck like you, he’d hire me, and he had all kinds of hours since you’re in summer school.”

“Don’t get too comfy, Race,” Kloppman called back. “You’re still on probation with me.”

“I’m the best thing you got going today, Mr. Kloppman,” said Race loudly. “Jack’s lazy.”

Jack shook his head and looked out the window. He liked his weekends, working for Kloppman. Such a relief after sentence structure and symbolism, even with Mayer dragging him through it. The government class wasn’t too bad... Jack was pretty good at figuring out how shit got done and how deals are made, or at least how shit was supposed to be done. But making a place look clean and pretty with new mulch and new trees and stuff like that made him feel good at the end of the day.

“How’s school going this summer, Jack?” Kloppman asked, looking at him in the rear view mirror.

“It sucks,” said Jack. “Looks like I’ll pass, though, if get the rest of my work in on time.”

“Good. And congrats on your new family. Mayer called me the other day, thinking I’d want to know.”

“It ain’t final yet,” Jack answered. “But thanks.”

“Still and all, it’s good,” said Kloppman. “Your old man was a nasty piece of work, if you don’t mind my saying. Mayer’s a good guy. I don’t know Esther much, but I’d bet they’re gonna be good to you.”

“Yeah,” said Jack.

Jack sank down in the shadow of the truck with his lunch and waited for Race to come around with his. Esther had objected to the big packs of Skittles Mayer had bought for Jack’s lunches, but backed down once Jack promised her that he would definitely eat his apple too, and the amount of work he was doing would burn off Skittles pretty easily. 

Jack opened the Skittles first and poured them into his mouth. “Mayer’s awesome, you know that,” he mumbled through them to Race. “Want some?”

Race took the package and poured the rest into this mouth. “Fanks,” he mumbled back as Jack tried to yank the package away before they were all gone. Jack dumped the last two Skittles into his hand and scowled at Race. Race grinned as he took huge bites into the mass of candy in his mouth.

“You seen Kath lately?” Jack asked, after swallowing. “You know they’re moving?”

Race dug through his bag for more of his lunch. “No shit. Where?”

“Dunno. But that fucker Joe told me that if I didn’t turn myself in and tell all kinds of lies about what I did, he’d lay Mayer off.”

Race eyed Jack. “Well, you ain’t in jail, and Mayer's still got a job, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that didn’t happen.”

Jack unwrapped his turkey sandwich and smiled. He’d enjoyed making his sandwich that morning. Mayer had gotten mustard and tomatoes, saying if Jack didn’t like that kind of mustard they could just try another kind once they ran out, since none of them could remember what Jack had liked the first five months he’d been with them. Jack didn’t care, but it had been nice that Mayer did. “Good job, genius.”

“That’s pretty messed up, though.” Race examined his bologna sandwich with disgust. He ripped open his bag of chips instead. “Wanting you in jail.”

Jack nodded as he gulped from his water bottle. “Oh, and guess what. They’re gonna hire some of the janitors back at the college now. Nobody liked Pulitzer’s plan once they saw what it meant.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Why would I make that up?” Jack poked the rest of his sandwich in his mouth.

“Hey, you should come over after work. The little kids miss you.”

“Yeah, sure. Esther can give us a ride.” Jack drew out the apple from his bag and turned it around in his hand. He had promised. He took a big bite and leaned his sweaty head back against the truck. Race sat forward, his hands dangling over his knees.

“Oh, hey, Esther sent you an apple too. She wanted to make sure you had some fruit.” Jack dug out the second apple from his bag and held it out to Race.

“She was talking about my lunches?” Race asked. “What the hell.”

“She’s like that. Eat the fucking apple.” Jack handed him the apple. Race didn’t even bother turning it around in his hand before taking his first bite.

Mayer swung out his arms in frustration. “What do you mean, you took him over to Race’s? And left him there?”

“They wanted to play football with the kids,” said Esther. “He’ll text when they’re done.” She imitated Mayer’s frustration and held out her arms too. “What???”

“Race was the one who supplied him with alcohol, if you remember. He’s a nice kid, but he’s a kid! Jack’s been doing so well! Why couldn’t you have told them that Race could come over here?”

“With fifteen other kids from Green Meadows? Pretty sure I didn’t have enough seat belts for that, Mayer. He’ll be fine. You should have seen Romeo’s face when he saw Jack.” Esther slung her purse over the back of the kitchen chair. “And Jack could do with some hero worship and the chance to play, speaking of being a kid. He had the best smile on his face when he had Romeo dangling by one foot.”

“He didn’t even want to come with me to pick up Race when we had the cookout,” said Mayer angrily. “What if someone makes fun of him or teases him about the robbery?”

Esther pointed at him. “You triggered him all by yourself. That boy didn’t want to go back to Green Meadows so soon, but he also didn’t want to be in a car with a grown man if he could help it.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to, Mayer. I’m surprised you even brought that up, given your little excursion to the woods without me,” she said, a slight edge to her voice. "He was okay going to Green Meadows with you the other day."

“So you’re a Jack-whisperer? You know him better than I do?” Mayer said, his voice rising. “Are you jealous he chose me to take to the woods?”

“First, yes, I knew him better than you when he came back, only because he was terrified of men. I wouldn’t say that now, not totally, but at the time, yes.” Esther glared at him. “And I’m not jealous. I don’t think I could bear to see that spot he showed you. But you make it sound like I don’t care about Jack being at Green Meadows by himself. I do, as a matter of fact. I think it will be good for him, seeing his friends. We can’t always be everywhere to protect him, you know.”

“It’s the scene of his abuse and coercion, Esther! The woods he showed me were a crime scene. His trailer was a crime scene where they literally found his blood. He has no business there without us being there with him. I’m going to get him.” Mayer picked up the car keys.

“Don’t you dare. You will humiliate him in front of his friends,” said Esther. “You will lose so much ground if you do that. You two have been doing so well. Don’t wreck it, please!”

“I’m nearly his father,” said Mayer. “I am his father. I can’t let him stay where he could be traumatized all over again, without our support, and be within easy reach of so much alcohol. I don’t give a damn about his friends.”

”Mayer, please! Stop! Let’s compromise,” said Esther reaching for his arm. “Let him stay for an hour and then text him. Give him a chance. He knows where he is. He knows better than anyone what happened there. He wasn’t scared, I promise. Race is his closest friend, and Jack needs him.”

Mayer clenched his jaw, blinking hard. “One hour.”


	26. On the Road

“I thought she said to text,” shouted Race.

“Nah, I don’t want to bother her,” Jack shouted back. “See you guys.” Romeo waved with his whole arm as Jack headed down the road toward town. Other than answering Mayer’s weird texts, it had been fun, he thought. Mayer was such a worrywart. It kind of felt good, though, getting a text from someone who expected an answer. Kind of like the tv shows where kids got in trouble for stupid shit and their parents were all concerned and worried. Those kids just got grounded or something. They didn’t end up bleeding or ignored on those shows. Anyway, he was like those kids now, and he smiled.

Jack heard the sound of a car coming behind him and stepped closer to the side of the road. The driver gave a long honk. A window came down and Jack turned and ducked as someone chucked a soda cup at him. It splashed ten feet away.

“Trash for trash!” someone yelled from the car, and Jack heard the laughing fade as the car sped on. He’d never actually been hit by anything on the road, although there had been some close ones.

He kept going as the sun went down. Another car came up behind him and again he stepped into the tall grass. He glanced over his shoulder in time to see that the car wasn’t going to move over at all, and he threw himself down into the ditch to avoid getting hit. His foot twisted on a rock and he landed on it with a crack. He caught his breath as he pushed himself up, and gasped as he put his weight down on his left ankle. Oh, shit. That was no sprain. Or the worst sprain in the world, maybe. Well, no doubt he got what he deserved, not calling Esther the way she told him to. Suck it up, Kelly. Get moving before it gets late. Esther and Mayer cared about shit like that, being late.

Jack hobbled past the gas station and into town, biting his lip to keep from crying. At one point he put his hands down and tried to hop on his good leg and and his hands, but it was too hard and jarred his ankle just as much. He crawled for a while until he reached the first sidewalk in town, and then got up and started limping again. He’d have to get to the freezer to get an ice pack and into get bed before Esther and Mayer saw him. Or just get to bed and get the ice after they were asleep--that would work better. She’d make him shower, though, since he’d worked all day. She was a stickler about that kind of thing, he’d learned. Fuck. He stopped to lean against a street light. Holy, holy fuck.

He reached their street and stopped for a moment to catch his breath. The lights were on. Just move fast and hope for the best. He staggered to the door, opened it carefully, and held his breath as he hopped inside to the kitchen. Fuck, he'd wanted to get to bed, not the kitchen. He turned around, but it was too late.

“Jack! Where have you been!” Esther came down the hall, annoyed. “I thought you’d call ages ago! I texted you a million times!” Shit. He hadn’t even thought to check his phone on the way home.

“I didn’t want to bother you,” he said, trying to sound relaxed. “I’ve walked into town a ton from Green Meadows. As you know. No big deal.” He grinned at her. “Just need to get a drink and then I’ll get to bed. Sorry I didn’t check my phone.” He leaned lightly on the counter as demons chewed on his ankle.

“It’s not safe, as I've told you many times,” said Esther. “It’s no bother. I’m happy to come get you.” Mayer trailed into the kitchen, catching up on the conversation.

“Okay, sorry,” said Jack. “I’ll do better.” He stood there, watching them watch him. They really needed to go back to their bed and read so he could drag himself over to the freezer without an audience. “What?”

“You said you were thirsty,” said Esther.

“Yeah, um, it can wait. Am I in trouble? I get it. Whatever you want.” Jack was close to having to cry from the pain. Just punish him already.

“Just please don’t worry us like that,” said Mayer. “That’s all.” Like a tv show, for real. Jack almost wished Mayer would give him a black eye so he wouldn’t think about his ankle for one screaming moment.

“You got it,” said Jack. His breathing quickened as he tried not to actually scream. “You can go back to bed. I should get my shower, huh.” He tried to smile again.

Mayer frowned. “Why are you leaning on the counter like that? Did you get hurt playing football?”

“No, sir,” said Jack. Fuck. Here he was with the “sir” again. Old habits die hard.

Mayer narrowed his eyes. “Can you walk to the refrigerator?” Jack glanced over to the fridge, which seemed about forty-two miles away. He drew in a breath, braced his shoulders as he cracked his neck, and tried to walk as normally as he could. It would have been easier to cut off his foot with a toothpick, but he forced himself to keep going. He finally reached the fridge and turned as Mayer was shoving a chair over to him. Jack couldn’t take it anymore and collapsed, missing the chair and grabbing at his leg, his face screwed up to keep from falling apart completely.

“You could’ve just said no,” said Mayer.

Romeo tripped along next to Race, bursting with excitement. “This is gonna be great, right, Race?”

Race laughed down at him. “It should be pretty good. Remember, you’re just there to watch, okay, unless I say different? But you’ll pick up some life skills, so pay attention.” He put his bag handles into the crook of his elbow, twirled the football in front of him until they reached a light pole, and waved Romeo down the empty road. Romeo took off, and Race grinned as he tossed the ball to him. Romeo was a pest, but he was good company.

Romeo waited for Race to catch up to him. “Think Jack will be glad? He’ll think this is awesome, right?” 

“Yeah,” said Race. “Just shut up once we’re there, okay?” Romeo nodded importantly and made his steps bigger to keep up with Race. 

Romeo quieted down as they finally reached the nicer end of town. Race hoped he hadn’t made him walk too far; he definitely couldn’t carry Romeo home. Well, they’d come this far, so no going back now. Race reminded Romeo to stay quiet by putting his finger to his lips, smiling when Romeo’s eyes got big and serious. Race peered thought the privacy hedges. About what he’d thought. He checked the house windows. Both bedroom lights were on.

“We gotta wait a little bit,” he whispered to Romeo. “Siddown.” They sat near the hedges until finally the lights had gone out. Race checked to make sure he could still see his target by the street light.

“Ready?” he asked Romeo. Romeo nodded fast. “Stay close.” Race stood up and threw the football at the security camera, hitting it dead on. It cracked loudly as it broke and a few pieces fell to the ground. Race opened his bag and took out his eggs. He started with the windows farthest from the driveway and worked his way fast around the house. Lights were flickering on upstairs. 

“Hurry up,” he whispered to Romeo. He took out the second dozen eggs from his bag and handed them to Romeo, pointing at the car. “Do it.” Race dashed to get the football and ran back to the car, where they smashed all twelve eggs in short order. Race put the carton back in his bag, took out his freshly sharpened key to his trailer, and dragged it the full length of the car on each side.

The outdoor lights started to snap on. Race grabbed Romeo’s hand and pulled him through several yards before stopping.

“You like that?” he asked Romeo, laughing. "We did it!"

Romeo nodded, his eyes alight. “No one treats Jack like that,” he said.

“That’s right,” said Race. “Now follow me.” He drifted across yards and alleys to the edge of town, where Race tossed his bag into a dumpster behind a restaurant. All was quiet. They approached the gas station, and Race slowed.

“Want some gum?” he asked Romeo.

“Can I get a big bag?” asked Romeo.

“For sure.” Race grinned at him. “You did good.” Romeo beamed up at him as Race paid for the gum. They took their time on the road to Green Meadows, blowing enormous bubbles and tossing the football under the street lights.


	27. It's Never Easy, Is It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!

Jack tried not to whimper as he laid back on the exam table, his ankle his only focus. “Mmm...” he grunted, giving in to needing to make a sound. He stared at the light above him. He would not look at anything else. He would think about the light. Don’t be such a baby. He kept his eyes open as Esther sat down in the chair next to his head, and Mayer stood at the foot.

“Why didn’t you call us, baby?” asked Esther. “I can’t imagine how much it hurt to come all the way home on a broken ankle.”

Jack breathed heavily through his nose, his jaw hermetically sealed. “Ain’t a whiny little... I ain’t a whiner,” he managed to whisper. “Didn’t want to make you mad.”

He heard Mayer exhale, but he didn’t dare look anywhere else but the light.

“You done broke it good, Jack!” boomed Dr. Schmidt, pulling aside the curtain. “Well done. If you’re going to do something, go all in, I say. None of this hairline fracture or sprain stuff for you! I hear you even hopped around on it for a couple of miles for good measure. I like a man who lives dangerously.” He clapped Jack’s good leg gently. 

Jack looked away from the light and at Dr. Schmidt. 

“Just kidding, Jack. Next time get a ride, okay? You’re gonna be in a cast for a good while. Sit tight and we’ll get you wrapped up and on your way.” Dr. Schmidt motioned to Mayer to follow him. “Mr. Jacobs, a word?”

Jack watched Dr. Schmidt and Mayer walk away, and turned to Esther. “There’s a problem, isn’t there. I caused another problem.” Esther smiled at him. Jack’s pulse began to race.

“Is Jessica here? Do they think you guys did this?” Jack scrambled to sit up. “Dr. Schmidt?” he called.

“Jack, no, don’t,” said Esther. “Just let them do their jobs.”

“No, no, no...” Jack swung his legs down from the table, trying to ignore the pain again. He hopped out to the hallway of curtains. “Mayer? Jessica?”

Esther’s arm was suddenly around his waist. “You have to wait, Jack,” she said.

Jack tried to jerk free of her but couldn’t. “I have to tell them,” he said loudly. “Dr. Schmidt? This was my fault! Hey!” He turned his head up and down the hall, straining to see someone, anyone.

“Jack, they will talk to you, I promise,” said Esther. “They will be very interested in what you have to say. Get back up on the table, please.”

Jack’s heart pounded and he whirled back to Esther. “I have to tell them! I have to tell them now! Jessica! Mayer!” he shouted. How could he have been so naive. He was going to lose everything. Absolutely everything. No one would ever adopt him now. He started to sweat as he gulped for air.

Mayer appeared in the hallway, Jessica and Dr. Schmidt close behind. “Jack, what? What is it?” Mayer called, rushing towards him.

Jack pointed at Jessica and Dr. Schmidt. “It was my fault. They didn’t do nothing. They never, ever hurt me. I was being stupid. I’m so stupid, they’ll tell you. Please,” he begged, yanking himself away from Esther and trying to walk towards them. “You can’t take me away.” Tears began to fall down his cheeks from the pain in his ankle and maybe he was a little nervous, but he didn’t care anymore.

Mayer caught him under his arms as Dr. Schmidt came towards Jack.

“Slow down, Jack. Get back up on the table, please,” said Dr. Schmidt. “Up.”

Jack twisted. “No. Not until you say I can stay.” He lurched backwards, fighting them as they tried to guide him to the table. “No!” He gave a mighty twist and fell to the floor, breaking his fall with his arms. He backed away, pulling himself along by his hands, dragging his ankle. “You can’t make me go with you!” he shouted at Jessica. “I won’t!”

Jack closed his eyes as his leg throbbed and burned, and let out a yell as he felt hands on him, trying to lift him. “No! They didn’t do anything! I won’t go!” He twisted again and flipped himself over, falling to the floor again, but this time on his front, splitting his lip. White hot pain flashed through his leg as blood filled his mouth. They could take his leg. Take both legs. He would not go with Jessica.

The hands came off of him and he lay on the floor, his head in his hands, blood dripping from his mouth. “Okay, Jack,” he heard Mayer say. “It’s okay.”

“The fuck it is,” he said. He tensed as he waited for someone to force him to move. 

“Jack,” said Jessica. He peered up at her from the side to see her crouching next to him. She gave Jack a regretful smile. “I’m sorry we scared you, Jack. It was protocol to call me in a case like yours. We know Mayer and Esther didn’t do this to you and Dr. Schmidt agrees, but we had to check. I do need to talk to you privately, though.”

Jack heaved for air as he absorbed what she had said. “I ain’t talking to you privately. You’ll take what I say and turn it all around and make me go somewhere else. You can go fuck yourself.”

“Just tell me what happened.”

Jack gritted his teeth at having to tell the same story yet again. “I was walking on the road and some car come up behind me and it wasn’t gonna make room for me, so I jumped into the ditch.”

“Why were you walking on that road?”

“Esther said she’d come get me, and she would. But I’m a stupid jerk and decided to walk. It’s not her fault!” Jack’s voice cracked, much to his embarrassment. “She tells me all the time to call. She hates that road. I’m just stupid, okay? You got that in your file, I bet. Jack’s an asshole.”

He wiped his tears on the shoulder of his T-shirt and tried to lick the blood from his lips. “Please, just let me go home with them. Don’t take me away.”

Jessica nodded. “Okay. That’s all I needed, Jack. You’ll go home with Mayer and Esther. Can Dr. Schmidt fix you up now?”

Jack caught his ragged breath. He turned himself over and looked cautiously at Mayer and Esther.

Mayer held out his hand. “Let’s get you fixed up,” he said. Jack checked with Esther. She patted the table. He reached for Mayer’s hand and let himself be helped up onto the table again.

Jack leaned his head against the window, exhausted, as they drove home in silence. He hoped they hadn’t changed their minds about adopting him after all that, rotten mess that he still was. Way to throw a tantrum, Kelly. Whiny little bitch. Loser. He closed his eyes and prayed they’d keep him.

“What’s this,” Mayer murmured as they turned onto their street. 

“Mayer,” said Esther quietly. “We’re staying in the car. Go see what they want.”

Jack opened his eyes and stared. Two cop cars were parked outside of their house, clearly waiting for them to get home. He looked at Mayer, whose face was set as he parked in the driveway and got out.

“Can I help you,” he called out. Two officers got out and came up to Mayer.

“We’re looking for Jack Kelly,” said the taller one. Snyder, it said on his tag. “Is that him?” He pointed at Jack with his chin. Jack looked away, his hands cold and clammy despite the warm night, but then looked back at Mayer.

“May I ask why?” asked Mayer calmly.

“We have reason to believe he vandalized some property here in town. He’s been id’d as a probable suspect. Get him out of the car, please,” said the shorter one. Roberts.

Mayer waved for Jack to get out. Jack grabbed his crutches and tumbled out of the seat, awkwardly getting the crutches under his arms.

“What’s going on here?” asked Snyder, waving at the crutches.

“He broke his ankle this evening. We just got back from the hospital,” replied Mayer. “He didn’t vandalize anything.”

“Turn around,” said Roberts. Jack gave Mayer a panicked look, but Mayer nodded at him hesitantly. Jack turned around and tried to keep his breath even as his arms were pulled back and the cuffs snapped around his wrists. He was brought back around and pushed to his knees as his crutches clattered to the driveway. “Where were you tonight?” Jack twisted his head to look up at Roberts, but didn't answer.

“Just a minute,” said Esther, getting out of the car, holding the sheaf of papers from the hospital. “You can’t do that. He hasn’t done anything. You can check with the hospital. We’ve been there for hours.”

“Ma’am, step back,” said Snyder sharply as he turned to Jack. “You want to tell us why you vandalized Joe Pulitzer’s house and car tonight? Broke your ankle running away, maybe?”

Jack looked up at Mayer, his eyes wide, and then at Snyder. “No, sir, I didn’t do that. I didn’t, I swear.” The metal of the cuffs dug into his wrists. He bent over again, trying to catch his breath, trying to understand what was happening.

“He seems to think you did. Why would he think that, do you suppose?” asked Roberts. “Something about the robbery earlier this summer? Did your father order you to do this?” He took his baton and raised Jack’s face, shining his flashlight directly into Jack’s eyes.

Jack shook his head, squinting, the baton digging into his chin. “No, sir. I don’t hear from him at all.” He really was going to juvie now. He swallowed hard and tried to look for Mayer, but the flashlight was too bright.

“Officers, please. When did the vandalism happen,” asked Mayer. “What time?”

“It was reported about two hours ago,” said Snyder. “Eyewitnesses said they saw two boys running away from the scene.”

Mayer smiled. “We were at the hospital for the past three hours. Here’s the paperwork,” he said, taking it from Esther and holding it out. “Could I call them for you and let them verify the time on the papers?”

Snyder held his flashlight over the papers before handing them back to Mayer. “That’s okay.” He scowled down at Jack, still held in place with Roberts’ baton as Roberts continued to keep his flashlight in Jack’s eyes. “You stay out of trouble, Kelly. We’ll have our eye on you, remember that. Apples don’t fall far from the tree.” He motioned for Roberts to back away and for Jack to turn. Jack obeyed as Snyder released the handcuffs. Jack stayed down, reaching for his crutches, blinking his eyes to get the spots to disappear.

“If we find out you had something to do with this, you’ll wish you’d been honest with us,” said Roberts. “You sure you don’t want to tell the truth, Kelly?”

Jack looked up at Roberts. “I didn’t do it,” he said hoarsely. 

“Have a good night, officers,” said Mayer quietly. 

“Get this kid under control or we will,” said Snyder. He motioned for Roberts to get back in his vehicle, and strode down to his own.

Jack, Mayer, and Esther all waited for them to leave before moving. Jack stayed on his knees as he looked first to Esther and then to Mayer. “I don’t know what they’re talking about. I didn’t go to Pulitzer’s, just Green Meadows. I swear. Please, believe me.” 

Mayer held out his hand to help Jack up. “We know. We believe you.” He hesitated. “You’re not angry about Joe's threat to you still, are you? I mean, do you know who vandalized his house?”

Jack shook his head vigorously as he got his crutches under his arms, and then slowed. Oh, shit. He looked meaningfully at Mayer, then Esther. “No one's told me they did it.”

Esther shut the car doors. “Well, then, let’s get inside. You need to get cleaned up, young man, and straight into bed.” Jack obediently clacked behind her on his crutches as they went inside, and got cleaned up as best he could, mourning the loss of his pair of jeans that had got cut open. He hoped Mayer and Esther wouldn't be too mad about that. He pulled on a pair of shorts and came to their bedroom, where the door stood open. 

“I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass,” he said. “If I’d just called you like you said, none of this would have happened. And I’m sorry I acted like such a fuckup in the hospital. I just...” He adjusted his crutches and looked at the floor. “I get it if it’s too much, you know. I been kicked out for less. I wouldn’t blame you.”

Esther lowered her book. “If you’d have been here instead of the hospital, chances are good you would have been arrested. So let’s think of it that way.” Jack nodded, still looking down. Esther got out of bed and came over to him. “Can I tuck my son in?” she asked.

Jack laughed a little despite himself. “I’m fine.” He looked up shyly, just in case she was serious, which she evidently was. He pivoted on his right leg and went into his room, pleased she was actually following, and feeling ridiculously silly. He thumped down on his bed, dropping his crutches. Esther left the hall light on as she turned out the bedroom light. She crossed the room and sat beside him, smiling. He waited for her to change her mind. How long did tucking someone in take? Was he supposed to say something?

“How’s my boy,” she asked. She really wasn’t mad at him?

“Good,” he said. “I worked and I broke my ankle.”

“Well, let’s make sure you break just the one, okay?” She smoothed back his hair. He closed his eyes, soaking it in.

“I almost got arrested, too,” he added, his eyes still closed.

“Almost is the key word there. Maybe someone almost launched a nuclear missile, too, today.”

“I’m a fuckup and a loser and a whiny little bitch,” said Jack, his face starting to contort.

Esther’s hand stopped. “You are my beautiful son. You are mine and I love you.”

“You’re not mad at me? You’re not getting rid of me?” Jack asked, opening his eyes. He had to hear her say it.

“No, baby. We love you so much. You are here and we still want to adopt you. Go to sleep, okay?” She leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “You need rest more than anything.”

“Okay,” he said. “Mama?”

“Yes, Jack.”

“Just checking.”

Esther smiled at him and watched him roll up in his sheet as she walked to his bedroom door. She closed it quietly and went back to her bedroom, sighing as she sat down on the bed. Mayer watched her silently.

"I'm gonna kill Racetrack Higgins," she said. "Tomorrow. I'm killing him."

"Yes, dear," said Mayer. "Madam Esther with the candlestick in the trailer park."

Esther laughed and hit him with her pillow. "I'm not kidding. Honestly, I can't decide if I'm angrier that Race did that or that he didn't ask me to go with him, the little punk." Mayer smiled and held out his arms. Esther turned out the light and curled up next to him. "And I'm more of a lead pipe kind of girl, anyway."

"I'll remember that for your trial," said Mayer. "Please, judge, it wasn't her. She's a lead pipe kind of girl, not a candlestick kind of girl." Esther elbowed him and laughed as Mayer gave her a squeeze.


	28. At Last

Jack thumped down the hall, his boot announcing his progress. “Mayer! We’re having pancakes, right?”

“Naturally,” called Mayer. “Come make your own so I can get dressed, okay?”

Jack nodded as he limped into the kitchen. “You got it.”

“Esther already had hers,” Mayer said, handing him the spatula. “She wanted extra time to get ready this morning.” He glanced skeptically at Jack’s bedhead and wrinkled T-shirt and shorts. “You know that today is the day to look less homeless, right? Eat up and then get straightened around. I don’t want you making me look bad,” he smiled at Jack.

“Well, I’m skipping school today, so, you know, you’re already failing as a parent,” said Jack, watching the bubbles come up in his pancake. He grinned as he looked up at Mayer, who rolled his eyes.

“Jack? Jack, honey?!” Esther called. “Are you dressed?” Mayer gave Jack a warning look and headed off to get dressed. “Oh, Jack, no,” said Esther, seeing Jack at the stove in his pjs flipping his pancake. “One pancake and then let’s move, kid.”

“No school, no food, broken ankle,” Jack complained. “Makes me wonder if I’m really better off here. Some parents you guys turned out to be.” Esther kissed him on the cheek. “We still get to go to Luisa’s after, right, Mama?”

“Only if you get yourself adopted, which, at this rate, is a question,” said Esther. “That pancake is done. Let’s go, let’s go!”

Jack turned off the burner, flipped the pancake into his hand, and tossed it from one hand to the other as he headed back to his room, trying to cool it off before finally jamming it in his mouth as he tore off his pjs and reached for the dress clothes Esther and Mayer had laid out with him the night before.

“Ooh, aaah, ah...” he huffed, as the pancake burned his mouth a little. He hastily buttoned up his blue dress shirt and was overwhelmingly pleased with himself as he tied his tie right the first time. He admired himself in the mirror. He was a sharp-looking guy today.

“Jack!” Esther bellowed.

”’oming!” He called through his full mouth. “I 'otta wear ‘ants, ‘on’t I? ‘Imme a sec!”

Finally dressed, he grabbed his jacket, socks, and shoe and met Esther and Mayer by the door. “Let’s go. What’re we waiting for?”

Esther sighed, running her hands through Jack’s hair. “Nothing. We’re right on time.”

The judge shook their hands, and Jack’s heart burst open. He felt like his face was going to crack at the picture taking, now that the actual ceremony was over. He would never stop smiling, not ever. Him and Esther. Him and Mayer. Him with Esther and Mayer. Smiling, crying, laughing. Mayer trying to straighten Jack’s tie, Esther kissing his cheek. Race punching him in the chest. It was real, and it was done. 

Race and Jack grabbed for the pizza the second the server set it down at their table. “Ooh, aaah, ah...” Jack huffed as he burned his mouth for the second time that day.

Mayer poked at his pasta. “Jack, I kind of wish you had taken me up on my offer to change your name. We could have all changed them at the same time. Did you tell Race about that?”

Jack rolled his eyes. “I’d never heard of that song, so you know Race hasn’t.”

“What,” said Race, breaking strings of cheese between his piece of pizza and the pan with his fingers.

Jack sighed. “Mayer thinks it would have been cute if I’d changed my last name to Jacobs, and then the three of us would tack on Jingleheimer Schmidt. So I’d be John Jacobs Jingleheimer Schmidt.”

“Are you related to Dr. Schmidt?” Race asked Mayer.

“No, the song, stupid,” said Jack. “Mayer...”

Mayer raised his eyebrows. “You never heard that song, Racetrack?” He started to kind of sing. “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, that name is my name too...” Race stared blankly at him. “And whenever we go out, the people always shout, there goes John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, da da da da da da da... No?” 

Race looked at Jack. “I don’t get it.”

“Never mind,” said Jack. “I almost changed my name to Jacobs until Mayer brought up that dumb song. John Kelly will do fine.”

Esther took a piece of pizza. “It is fine. All you have to do is name your firstborn Jacob.”

“What if it’s a girl?” Race asked.

“Doesn’t matter,” said Jack. “They made me promise.”

“You got some weird ass parents,” said Race. “Whoops. Sorry.” He smiled guiltily at Esther. “Thanks for the pizza. It’s really great.”

“So, Race,” said Esther. “Why didn’t you call me?”

Race nearly choked. “What?”

“When you decorated a house and a car in town. Why didn’t you invite me along?” Esther busied herself with her salad. “I have pretty good aim, you know.”

Race’s eyes widened as he looked at Jack. “They know?”

“Fuck yes, they know,” said Jack.

“Language,” said Mayer mildly, twirling his pasta on his spoon.

“Uh, I already had company, I guess,” said Race. “Next time.”

“Next time?” Mayer asked, peering at Race.

“No, sir, there will never be a next time,” said Race.

“That’s right,” said Mayer, going back to his pasta.

“Did either of you ever hear from Kath before they moved?” asked Esther.

Jack and Race exchanged a look. “Um, yeah, a little,” said Jack.

“And?”

“It goes against the language police over here,” said Jack, eyeing Mayer. “I’m not sure I’m allowed to say what she said.”

“Ah.”

Esther smiled at Jack and he grinned back at her as he took some more pizza. With all his heart, he loved having language police parents who sang silly songs at lunch. Like a fucking movie. 

Mayer drove slowly through the trailer park after dropping Race off.

“Mayer?” Jack asked.

“Yes?” Mayer asked, steering around the ubiquitous potholes.

“Can you stop, please?” Jack noticed the hesitation before Mayer slowed the car down and stopped. Jack leaned forward and put his hand on Esther’s shoulder. “Can I show you something, Mama?”

Esther looked at Mayer, who smiled sadly at her. She drew in a breath. “Of course,” she replied.

Jack got out of the car and waited for Esther. “It’s in the woods,” he said. “Keep your arm up so you don’t get hit with any branches.”

Esther nodded and followed Jack into the woods, trying to step carefully in her heels. Soon he paused and pointed at the fallen tree. “Mayer told me,” she told Jack softly.

Jack put his arm around Esther and leaned his cheek on her head. “I don’t wanna come back here ever again,” he said. Esther put her arm around his waist and was silent.

“Mama?”

“Yes, Jack,” she whispered.

“I cried here. I cried here for you and Mayer, wanting to go back. I lay down right there,” he said, pointing. “Mayer doesn’t know.” Jack’s grip tightened. “I’m so glad I got to come back to you, Mama.”

He looked down at Esther’s face, surprised to see her crying. “Why’re you crying? I thought that would make you happy.”

Esther wiped her face and smiled at him. “I am happy that you came back to us, Jack. I’m sorry you ever had to leave.” She rustled through some leaves with her foot before stopping as she hit a stone. She bent over, picked it up, and placed it on the log. “We should remember the boy who was here, though.”

She bent over and found another stone, handing it to Jack. He put the stone on the log next to Esther’s, giving her a confused look.

Esther reached out and squeezed his hand. “Mayer’s waiting.”

Jack led Esther back to the car, where Mayer and Esther exchanged a kiss as Esther got settled. “Let’s go, Pop,” said Jack. “The pictures will be ready by now.”

"Pop?”

"You like it?” Jack asked.

"Yeah,” said Mayer, turning around to smile at Jack. “I do.”

Jack waited until he knew Mayer and Esther were asleep. He walked slowly, placing his boot down carefully and quietly with each step, all the way to the kitchen. He took the new picture off the wall and returned to his room just as slowly and quietly as he had come. He got back into bed and stared at the framed picture in the moonlight until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Carefully he put it in front of him on the mattress, curled up around it, and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm done, unless you want more!


End file.
